Freefall
by Alicia of the Temptation
Summary: [COMPLETE.] Chapter 13: "Here." "One, Danny didn't particularly like being in his Phantom half for longer than necessary. Two, Mr. Lancer had been staring at him like a fish catching flies for the past six minutes." [WARNINGS: AU, OOC, depression, dissociation, depersonalization, self-harm, and suicidal idealization.]
1. Freefall

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Free-Fall.

Rating: Teen.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Where was his human side? Where was the fun loving kid who didn't have to worry about ghost hunting or protecting a town, or hiding a secret?

Warnings: AU. OOC!Danny. Depression. Dissociation. Some mature language.

Notes: I was browsing the Danny Phantom tag on Tumblr when I found **we-are-all-temporary** 's really awesome head-canon about Danny's dissociation with his human half. I asked her for permission to use her head-canon as inspiration so, now I'm writing this in her honor! I really hope I do a good job, and readers enjoy it!

* * *

 _Free-Fall_

* * *

He was fifteen, and he wasn't supposed to deal with this amount of shit.

As Danny sucked Skulker into the Fenton Thermos, he let out a long, tired sigh. His shoulders were tense and sore from the ghost fighting _and_ his life at home. Hell, everything hurt, and he was fifteen, and he _shouldn't be dealing with this amount of shit_.

Seriously, he shouldn't.

Danny floated over the buildings in downtown Amity Park, sore and tired, so _fucking tired_. He tilted his head as he looked down at his hometown, turning invisible to not alert the civilians.

Fights with ghosts normally ended when they fought in the sky, as if the higher altitude can improve any sort of attack. But, it felt as if it wasn't helping Danny. Sure, it helped his fighting – there was nothing to destroy, nothing to accidentally maim – but it wasn't helping _him_.

He closed his eyes, a prickling sensation coming to his eyes. Almost every day, there was a ghost fight. Whether it was Skulker, or Desiree, or even that pathetic Box Ghost. He never had any time to just rest and relax, and be a normal teenage boy.

His hands began to tremble while they held onto the thermos, and he gripped the device even harder, eyes closed as he flew higher into the air, releasing his invisibility.

Was he just a ghost, fighting other ghosts to defend his territory? A ghost with an obsession with fighting, or defending, or something, anything, related to being a hero?

Where was his human side? Where was the fun loving kid who didn't have to worry about ghost hunting or protecting a town, or hiding a secret?

He flew higher, and higher, as high as he could while still being able to see his hometown. Then, he stopped, and looked down at the ground below him.

It was already two in the morning, the town was dark, and his parents had given up on ever staying up for him. Danny didn't blame them.

He placed the thermos on the clip of his belt, eyes finally releasing hot tears down his cheeks. He hated crying, he hated it, but he felt so, so bad.

He wasn't human. He wanted to feel human. He _needed_ to feel human.

"Damn."

The idea came up with a blink of his eyes. He took a deep breath as he completed this thought, imagined it, and he _liked_ it.

He wanted to free-fall. Fall from this height and feel every bit of adrenaline. Feel the wind blow against his face and hair. Feel his heart, his _human_ heart, pound against his chest as he fell, fell, fell down to the ground.

Another deep breath then, he closed his eyes and reached for that part of him, that icy-cold part of him that made him a damn halfa. Reached for the switch that turned him back into weak, human Fenton.

Two glowing white rings appeared around his waist, then separated, turning Phantom to Fenton. And, as a human, there were no invisibility to hide him, and no levitation powers to keep him air-borne.

He fell faster, feet first, and the scream coming from his stomach was stuck in his throat. Danny blinked quickly, hair moving about before he maneuvered in the air to dive down, head-first.

His heart was beating, beating, fast against his chest. Blood pumping through his veins, _human blood_ made his arms feel real, this freeing moment of no gravity, no levitation, nothing holding him back. The few tears he shed dried quickly in the cold air. This falling, this free-falling, making him feel weak, powerless, _human._

It was perfect in a way he never expected.

Danny saw his town come closer and closer to view, and immediately switched back into Phantom, diving down before flying up to a nearby roof. 

* * *

Huffing, gasping, he returned to Fenton and landed on the roof. And smiling, _smiling_ , he enjoyed the feeling of his heart beating against his chest, of his lungs straining to breath, of his blood warming his body.

Of being here. Of being real. Of being human.

He was human. Maybe half human, but human enough to feel this incredible sensation.

Danny closed his eyes and smiled, still straining for breath. He was here, he was real, he was _human_ , and it felt so freaking good to feel human again.

He just had to do that again. Because he hadn't felt human in a _long_ time, and that rush of free-fall was incredible, and unexplainable, and just so perfect. And he had to, had to, _had to_ , do it again.

 _Tomorrow night, I'll do it again._


	2. Numb

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Free-Fall.

Rating: Teen.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: He was half human as much as he was half ghost, but why did he feel so numb? Why did his arms, legs, his beating heart, not feel like they were parts of his body?

Word Count: 1, 738.

Warnings: AU. OOC!Danny. Self-Harming Tendencies. Dissociation. Bullying. 

* * *

Numb

* * *

 _Splat!_

Danny did his best to ignore the fourth spitball thrown into his hair during this period. His anger was building bit by bit, but he kept his fists clenched, and his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands.

Dash and his cronies had been annoying him since this morning, and Danny wanted nothing more than to disappear or make _them_ disappear. All it took was the right moment, and he could get rid of them.

 _Wait a minute, Fenton_. Danny shook his head, _What the Hell are you thinking?_

Danny promised his friends, his sister, his enemies, and himself he would only use his powers to defend his home and protect his loved ones. As much as he abused his powers in the beginning, he kept them to himself now. He couldn't use them against Dash and his crew, no matter how much he wanted to make them suffer.

 _No, no, no. That doesn't sound right_.

Danny combed away the spitballs in his hair, frowning more at his thoughts than the slimy pieces of paper. A part of him was seething with anger, sadness, and all of the other emotions he tried not to think about.

The bell rang to signal the end of another school day, and Danny didn't stand up until Dash and his group left first. Of course, the bullies didn't always ignore Fenton once classes were over.

"Hey, Fen-toenail," Dash hissed. "You got something on your face."

Before Danny could answer, another one of the boys threw something into his face. One of the puddings from the cafeteria, except this one smelled aged and _horrific_.

The entire group exploded into guffaws as they left, high-fiving one another. Danny stayed in his seat, clenching his jaw. By his own luck, no one else, not even a teacher, was around to see the display of bullying.

If there was anything he disliked as much as ghost fighting, it was the damn bullying. He wasn't the only kid in this school being terrorized by the football players and the A-listers, but he was Dash's favorite punching bag, and he took most of the attacks.

Danny wiped away the terrible-smelling pudding with his shirt, keeping his jaw clenched. His hands shook as he got up from his seat, and picked up his books and the notebook on the floor. One of the boys had stepped on the notes he was taking, and Danny could barely make out his handwriting from underneath the muddy print.

The boy sighed, and put away his things. He had to get home before the ghost attacks started again. 

* * *

His parents weren't home, gone to a convention for scientists and fans of the supernatural. Jazz was off on a special trip for the honor students in D.C., miles away from her home.

Danny sighed. He'd have to hold down his house, or else he'd get grounded or yelled at for not doing anything.

He settled on cleaning the living room first, but as soon as he got a hold of the vacuum cleaner, his hand phased right through. Danny moved his hand back, looking at his palm before trying to grab the handle again.

His hand phased through again.

Danny felt tears starting to well up again, but he shook his head, and concentrated. He needed to clean.

Cleaning the living room was easy. All he had to do was dust the television, vacuum the rug and behind the couch, and clean off the couch and coffee table. Cleaning the kitchen was much harder.

Danny saw the mess on his kitchen table. The wooden surface was soaked with ectoplasm and ectoplasm repellent, which made the green slime sizzle and ooze onto the floor. Danny did nothing but stare at the mess.

 _If I touch that, I could get hurt_.

But if he didn't clean, he'd get yelled at. And he wasn't sure which one was worse. His parents already yelled at him enough about his poor grades and his habit of never making it home by curfew. And he didn't need Jazz to try to psychoanalyze him ( _again_ ) because he didn't want to deal with what was going on at home.

Danny took a deep breath, and settled the hose of the vacuum over his shoulder. He had to clean this up. 

* * *

The house was spotless by sunset, but no one was home except him. The cabinets were filled with food, and the refrigerator was filled with drinks. Everything was clean and spotless, and he should eat, but he doesn't.

Danny stares at his hands while sitting in the middle of the bed. They didn't phase through anything, but his fingers felt terribly cold and his skin was almost see-through. He shook his hands, but the feeling of them being frozen didn't go away. Most of the feelings he felt didn't go away with just a shake of his head or hands.

His body was betraying him. Ectoplasm flowed more than blood. His heart was slowing down. His hands felt cold, cold, cold. And he was afraid his hair would turn white, not because of age, but because of his ghost half dominating his human half. And he didn't want that. He didn't want that worry, that fear.

Danny grabbed onto his head, pulling his hair, digging his nails into his scalp.

He was half human as much as he was half ghost, but why did he feel so _numb_? Why did his arms, legs, his beating heart, not feel like they were parts of his body?

He let go of his head, the thought crossing his mind. _I said I would do it again today. Why haven't I?_

Danny reached for that part of him, that switch, and felt his body go through its transformation. He jumped out of bed, and flew out of his room, phasing through the ceiling and roof. He came up a few feet from his home, invisible and intangible, and looked over his town.

Everyone was settling into their homes after the work day, and it wouldn't be long until the ghosts started appearing. His parents were going to be at that convention for two more days, and Jazz wouldn't be home for three days. He was alone, alone, and there were no humans tonight to accompany him. Not even himself.

Danny floated up to the sky, looking up at the colorful sky. The setting sun made the sky look purple and blue, and orange, and gold. The stars were showing up, and it wouldn't be long until the moon made itself visible.

Would he ever go up there? Out into that darkness and look at the shining stars? Look out to his Earth and see it in a different view? Or would his human dreams mean nothing to his ghostly duties?

He flew higher up into the sky, staring up at the moon. Being half ghost, half dead, made it difficult to remind himself he was also half human, half _alive_. His human blood was replaced by ectoplasm. His heart hid away and his ghostly core came into its place. He didn't even look like a human. His hair was too bright; his eyes were too bright. Everything about him was too bright, too strange, too inhuman.

He hated it.

The human citizens below him were lucky. Not only did they only deal with human problems, they never had to worry about feeling anything else but human. Very few people ever felt inhuman, but Danny felt like he was the only one who felt inhuman _because_ of his ghostly abilities. As much as he treasured them, he hated them.

Danny flew high enough that he could see the clouds. He could feel the wind blowing, but he couldn't feel how cold it was. Was it just his ghost half that made feeling so difficult? Was it his ghost core being mainly ice?

The boy shook his head, and brought his knees to his chest. His powers made levitation easy, but he sometimes wanted to give them up just for one day of being human. He closed his eyes, and reached for that switch.

The rings appeared in a second, and turned him back into a human. No levitation to keep him up, Danny fell from his place in the clouds. This time, he screamed.

Every bit of emotion, every bit of sadness and rage, and weariness, came out of that scream.

Danny couldn't keep himself as a tight ball, and let go of his legs as he fell. He felt weightless, and his heart was beating, beating, _thump-thump-thump-thump_ , in a way it hadn't in years.

He was starting to feel his arms again, growing warm as the wind hit them. Danny looked down at his hometown, his eyes dry from the wind hitting his face, his hair flying around in a mess.

He almost didn't want to transform back. What could be more human than injuring yourself?

 _No. Don't be stupid, Fenton._

Danny brought back his ghost half, transforming quick enough to fly into the streets, turning intangible, invisible. His powers chased away the rush, the thrill, of a falling human. He loved his powers, but he also hated them.

Danny wanted to scream again, more from anger than anything else. But he bit that scream back, angry, angry, with himself, with his life, his decisions, with everything else life was just throwing at him.

He just wanted to be human again.

Danny returned to his house. It was still empty. He transformed back with just enough space from the floor to hit the ground. His back hit the floor with a hard thump, a grunt coming out of him.

"Well, that hurt." A _t least that part of me is still human._

He didn't get off the floor. Didn't bother turning on the lights or making himself comfortable, at least. Danny just looked up at the ceiling of his room, where glow-in-the-dark plastic stars shined as strangely as his ghost half.

Danny closed his eyes, but he couldn't stop the smile coming to his face. That kind of scream wouldn't come out from a fight, nor from lying down and making noises into his pillow. He'd have to fall from such a height one more time to scream like that. He'd have to fall from so, so high to feel like a human again. To feel warm. Real.

 _One more time. Just one more time._


	3. Disconnection

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Free-Fall.

Rating: Teen.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Sometimes, the numbness his ghost half brought to his body bled into his human half.

Word Count: 1, 547.

Warnings: Disassociation. Self-Destructive Actions.

Notes: I use self-destructive actions as a warning because I'm pretty sure conscious free-falling is self-destructive, and I wasn't sure nor alright with putting a self-harming warning. But, I might have to use that later. I still thank **we-are-all-temporary** for letting me use their idea as inspiration, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

* * *

Disconnection

* * *

Sometimes, the numbness his ghost half brought to his body bled into his human half. Those days were always full of numb limbs, and an overactive mind. Unfortunately, today, Wednesday, was one of those days.

Danny lied down on his childhood bed, underneath the sheets, with the ceiling fan on its highest speed setting. He stared at one point of his bedroom ceiling, blue eyes unblinking as he let himself become distracted.

He tried his hardest to focus on his beating heart, which, unfortunately, beat a little slower after the accident that led to his powers. Danny did his best to focus on the warmth of his fingers, and the prickling sensation of his right foot falling asleep. If he could still have limbs fall asleep, then he was still very human.

He hoped.

After four minutes, Maddie came in to check up on him, as she had been doing since he woke up this morning and had been borderline unresponsive. The red-haired woman peeked into her son's bedroom, worry filling her lavender-colored eyes. She peeked carefully into Danny's bedroom, staying as quiet as possible.

She hadn't a clue how her son felt. Mainly because she didn't even know her son was half ghost.

Danny sighed, closing his eyes, relishing in the feeling of his dry eyes taking a break. He bent his right knee, feeling the pain and discomfort of muscles waking up. Tightening his fists helped his skin become warm.

He was here, in a human body, with a human heartbeat and human limbs. And for now, that was enough.

* * *

The next morning was still difficult. Thursday meant Danny had English II, which meant he had to deal with Lancer's monotonous lectures, Dash's bothersome habits of bullying him, and, worst of all, Tucker looking at him with worry in his green eyes. Was it that obvious something was wrong with him?

Danny tapped his foot quietly on the tiled floor. His gaze was settled out the window, staring at the clear, blue skies over Amity Park. He had to remain focused on tapping his foot, rather than zoning out. If he zoned out, the careful control he had over his powers would slip, and have him either float in the air or slip through his seat.

If there was anything he loved about his ghost half, it was the control he had over his powers. Although the year Danny had his powers wasn't enough to have complete control over them, it was just enough to keep him occupied. To keep him focused on making sure his human half remained the dominant half, the half he was able to connect to. He had to make sure he could always connect back to his human half.

The bell rang, and Danny blinked his eyes several times. He had missed the entire lesson on a topic he knew nothing about, but the boy didn't feel too troubled about the lack of information.

"Dude, are you okay?"

Danny looked up at Tucker, who already had furrowed brows.

"I'm fine, Tucker. Just tired."

"Right," Tucker said. Of course, he didn't believe his best friend. He could see the weariness in Danny's face and body, the way the shadows under his eyes were even more pronounced, the low slump of his shoulders, and the sallowness of his skin. If it weren't for Tucker's habit of always keeping a hand on Danny's shoulder or arm, he would think his human body was just as cold as his ghost body.

"Today's Meat Monday, Danny boy!" Tucker announced with a grin, leading his friend down the hall. "Means we get to have delicious hamburgers for lunch! Mm-hmm! Bet you can't wait!"

Danny cracked a smile as he walked. Tucker found pleasure in simple, human things. He didn't have to worry about ghost fights or secret identities, and Danny made sure to always keep his friends at arm's length when it came to his own ghost fights.

His smile faded when they entered the lunchroom and headed into the food line. Watching the staff give students their plates, and watching the plates full of food, made his appetite feel nonexistent.

 _Oh, no._

This disconnection to his own bodily functions was worse than being unable to sleep because of ghost fights. He took his plate, and followed Tucker to their usual table. Sam was out, sick with a cold. Which meant his only other friend was being extra perceptive today.

"Danny, are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

Danny clicked his tongue, doing his best to smile at Tucker. "I'm fine, Tuck. I just really need some sleep."

* * *

Holy _fuck_ , did he feel terrible.

Danny floated over his bed. It was the middle of the night, everyone in his house was fast asleep and, luckily, the ghosts weren't as active tonight. He had no ghostly obsession to pull him into an unnecessary patrol over his hometown, but the tightness in his lower belly made it difficult to think he was safe.

Danny took a deep breath, his lungs filling with air, his chest feeling cold.

The body underneath his jumpsuit was probably the worst thing for him to see. The more powerful he became, the more his ghost half will start looking like his supposed corpse. Danny looked at his gloveless hands, staring at the burnt, gray skin and the glowing veins under the skin.

Besides the disgust curling in his stomach, that tell-tale feeling of complete horror slipped down his spine. Ectoplasm went through his body while in his ghost form, instead of a mix of blood and ectoplasm.

Danny shivered, and replaced his glove back on his hand.

With everyone asleep, it was much easier to phase out of the house. With the town asleep, it was just as easy to fly up into the sky.

Two in the morning in Amity Park meant the sky was at its clearest. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the town was slowly falling into a habit of reducing light pollution. To Danny, that meant the best star gazing experience.

But, floating several hundred feet over his hometown to look at those stars made the experience a little less relaxing. Was he being negative about it? Hell yes, he was. Did he care? He wasn't entirely sure.

Danny floated smoothly in the air, hands folded behind his head, his hair moving even though there wasn't a breeze.

Once upon a time, he dreamed of going out into space. Dreamed of seeing an even better view of the stars, and looking at his home planet in a whole new perspective. Once upon a time, he did his best to keep his grades high, to work as hard as possible in his science and math classes. Once upon a time, he hoped he could get a chance to go up into space, and finally experience life as an astronaut.

All of that was dust now.

Danny moved back in the air, removing his hands from his head to stretch his arms out. Looking at everything upside reminded him of his days on the school playground, where he would hang upside down on the jungle gym.

" _I'm practicing for floating in space_ ," he would tell his teacher, red-faced from being upside-down for far too long. His teacher would laugh, and help him down, and the world would be spinning, spinning, as if he had lost control of the gravity around him.

Now, he was losing control of being human.

Danny reached into that cold part of him one more time, for the third night in a row, and flipped the switch that turned him back into a human. This time, he did not scream as he fell downwards.

Momentum made him feel weightless as he fell, hair moving about, limbs loose in the air. The sudden lack of stability made his heart beat faster, _thump-thump, thump-thump_. His lungs were filling with cold air, cold air made by nature, not by his ghost core. His entire body was filling with the sensation of uncontrolled falling.

Danny stared, wide-eyed, as he fell closer to his hometown. He did not flip the switch, and felt his body fall even faster to the ground. Felt his heart jack-rabbit out of fear. Felt his limbs tremble out of shock. Felt horror.

Danny was afraid. And he was okay with that.

His ghost half, his inherited instincts, brought his intangibility to his human body and made him phase through the ground. Danny regained control of his limbs, and flew back up to the surface. He landed in an alleyway near Fenton-Works.

He leaned back against the wall, head tipped back to stare at the stars. His mind was full of all sorts of emotions. His heart was still beating too fast. His limbs were shaking from the shock of a late transformation.

This. This shock, fear, of death was what made free-falling so exhilarating.

It made him feel human again.

When Tucker asked the next day, Friday, how Danny was doing, the ghost-boy smiled honestly, openly. "I feel great."

"That's great, man," Tucker answered with his own smile.

But, when Danny turned around, the smile disappeared. Fear and sadness were lodged into his heart. He had seen Danny fall. And he did not know how to feel.


	4. Breathe

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Free-Fall.

Rating: Teen.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Maybe, if he would calm down. Maybe, if he would breathe. He'd feel better. But, he doesn't.

Word Count: 796.

Warnings: AU. Disassociation. Depression.

Notes: No free-falling this time, friends. But, there are other things. If you feel uncomfortable any time while reading this fic, please leave. I wouldn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable because of my writing. But, if you don't feel uncomfortable and read my fic, then I do hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Breathe

* * *

 _Maybe, if he would calm down. Maybe, if he would breathe. He'd feel better. But, he doesn't. He just doesn't feel good_ right now. _And the worst part is being unable to_ do anything about it at the current moment. All because of some _stupid_ lesson on essay structure in Lancer's class.

Danny sat in a different desk, looking down at his half-written notes. He hadn't looked up from his papers for the entirety of class, but the stillness he held in his seat wasn't unusual for him. At the beginning, Danny noticed how unsettled the other students looked around him, how they looked at him when he was too still, too quiet. As if he wasn't a freak because of his ghost-hunting parents, his stillness made him worse.

He tapped his fingers slowly on his desk, listening to the soft taps of his fingertips on the wood, and feeling the pressure of each tap.

Why did he have to feel this numbness? The worst part wasn't feeling inhuman; the worst part were the days he was human all day and all night, and he still felt so damn terrible. His head felt like he was underwater, and his hands were moving automatically, rather than under his own control. He felt like he was completely underwater, actually. Inside a fish bowl, floating in the water. Everything and everyone in his life were hands poking at the glass of the fish bowl, tapping and making endless noises to get his attention. But, he wasn't registering any of it.

Danny blinked slowly, and finally looking up at the front of the class. Apparently, the bell had rung, and everyone was already out the door, finally leaving after the long day. Mr. Lancer was erasing the board, mumbling to himself as he cleaned.

Danny sighed, and picked up his notes and pencils. Another school day, another class he completely missed a lecture on. A part of him wanted to care. He was almost expecting to master duplication just to have that duplicate scream at him, " _Why aren't you fucking doing anything?!_ "

He almost wants to yell, " _Because I feel like I'm drowning!_ "

"Mr. Fenton?"

Danny looked up at Mr. Lancer, noticing the man's gray eyes looking over him. "Are you alright, Mr. Fenton?"

 _Not at fucking all._

"I'm alright, Mr. Lancer. Just haven't been sleeping very well. I'm pretty tired."

Mr. Lancer's eyes narrowed, and Danny felt a block of ice lodge itself into his stomach. If Lancer could catch how he's feeling –

No. No. He can't know. No can know. No one can _ever_ know. He needs to be strong for everyone in this forsaken town.

Danny walked past his teacher before the man could ask any more questions. He didn't look behind him as he left the class, so he never noticed Lancer's brows furrowing. There was concern and curiosity in that stare, but the man did nothing more than sigh and return to his desk.

Some of the bad parts of his day were normally at the end of it, when Danny would walk down the hall to find Sam or Tucker, or both, waiting for him near their conjoined lockers. Tucker was out because of food poisoning. "No thanks to that all-meat diet of his!" Sam chuckled that day.

Sam waited for him with a smile on her face and, for just a moment, Danny felt a little better. She wasn't as observant as Tucker was, mainly due to always being in her head herself. But, that's what Danny liked about her. Sure, she could prod him just as much as Jazz. But, on days where she's always thinking something good, something bad, or something boring, she remained as clueless as he could be.

He needed people to be clueless, so they don't know he's actually drowning. So they don't know he's sinking, and he can't come up for air.

"Hi, Danny. How've you been?"

"Just tired."

* * *

 _Just tired. I'm just tired._ If he had to repeat that one more time, he's going to scream. But, what can he say other than that? What would his friends, his family, his teachers, would say or think of him?

Danny curled into a tight, little ball in his bed. The covers pulled over him, and only his eyes and nose were visible.

He was tempted to fly out his bedroom and fall back down to the ground as a human. Tempted to feel that rush of adrenaline hit his system and remind him of how human he truly was. How real everything around him was. How real danger was to even a half-ghost.

But, he was just too numbed out, too sore, too fucking actually _tired_ right now to even move from his bed.

 _I'm just tired._

* * *

"Danny! Look! Vladdy's here!"

 _Oh. You've got to be kidding me._

And now, he felt worse.


	5. Amazement

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: "What happened to your hands, Danny?" "Accident." "Bullshit."

Word Count: 2,024

Warnings: AU. Depression. Disassociation. Blood.

Notes: I've been working hard to successfully pass my college classes, so I haven't had the time to sit down and write when I wanted to. This chapter is a little overdue, but I think I'm quite proud of the work I put into this one. It's the longest chapter of this story, and the longest chapter I've written in a long time. I've been enjoying writing this fanfiction, so I hope you all enjoy this current chapter.

* * *

 **Amazement**

* * *

Vlad, like always, arrived impeccably dressed and poorly timed. Danny knew the older halfa had a habit to visit him and his family when the younger wanted nothing more than to disappear for a day or two. Of course, due to his luck, not much went his way when he really wanted it to.

Vlad, thankfully, arrived with gifts this time around. "Jasmine! Daniel!" the man chirped, greeting the Fenton children with a firm handshake each. Danny didn't bother putting the energy into returning the greeting, nor did he bother even looking or glaring at Vlad.

This unusual action made Vlad raise an eyebrow, but he handed Danny a carefully wrapped parcel. "I figured you would still be into that habit of making model spaceships, my boy. What luck is it I found a pre-made model, just for you."

Behind the brown wrapping was a glass case containing a shiny, silver-colored spaceship. It was a replica of a more modern ship, with every detail being exact, right down to the tiniest of screw. Danny's face was reflected in the glass case, and the boy finally looked up to Vlad.

"Thank you," the boy murmured, before lowering his head to retread to his bedroom. The replica did nothing more than remind him of his farfetched dreams. Did he want to work with NASA in the end? Did he honestly want to travel into space and see the stars anymore?

Vlad remained quiet as he watched Danny hold the replica under his arm and walk back up the stairs. He was expecting a snarky, flippant remark. A sarcastic thanks. Even a quiet glare. Instead, he received a tired greeting and thanks, and barely even a stare before the boy left.

Was there something wrong?

"Vladdy!" Jack chimed, throwing a heavy arm over Vlad's shoulder. "Come here, my man! I've got an invention I want to show you!"

Vlad barely had a say before Jack dragged him down to the family's basement laboratory.

* * *

He didn't hate Vlad, per se. But, he hated Vlad's desires. The man was smart, calculating, and wealthy. He was everything most men wanted to be like. However, the older halfa was manipulative, and had a hard time staying away from the boundaries other people put up. Danny knew Vlad still wanted him as a protégé; even if he couldn't have Maddie as a wife, he would do his best to have Danny as his pseudo-son.

Danny knew a lot. He knew his powers could grow stronger, he could be strong enough to defeat Vlad, and take his life.

As Danny held onto the glass case of the spaceship replica, his fingertips dug into the glass. He could tell when his eyes began glowing, watching as the inhuman gaze was reflected by the glass. The case was pressed onto further, cracks developing into the surface.

The boy could hypothesize his powers would grow if he trained as much as most athletes trained. Three times a week of training, of fighting and hunting. If he didn't hold back with fights he would have with enemy ghosts, the majority of said enemies would be gone, their ghost cores destroyed. If he worked out as a human, his human enemies would either see him as a threat and back off, or be dead before they could run.

 _Crack! Crack!_

Danny was shocked out of his thoughts, eyes returning to normal. The glass had broken under the immense pressure from his hands.

The boy dropped the remains, watching as the replica fell onto the wooden floor and broke even further. There were tiny blood stains on the glass shards and shiny plastic. Danny looked down at his own hands. His palms and the lower parts of his fingers had tiny shards of glass and plastic embedded into them. He watched as pinpricks of blood – _bright red_ blood – welled up behind the shards.

"…Danny!"

Danny hadn't even noticed his door being opened. He looked up from his wounded hands, slowly registering everything going on. His parents and sister had rushed to the room after hearing the crash. Perhaps it was louder than he thought? He couldn't tell, to be honest. He could barely even hear his father rushing to get the first-aid kit. His mother, meanwhile, walked up to him and carefully took his hands into hers.

"Ow!"

The pain was _incredible_. It had been a few months since he felt pain such as this. It didn't burn like an ecto-blast, but the pain brought a hiss from his throat. Danny couldn't help but be mesmerized by the entire experience of feeling human pain from a human accident.

His brows rose as his father picked out the shards with a pair of tweezers, while his mother held onto his hands in one hand, and combed his hair back with the other. Surprise made his heart flutter as he felt the prickling sensation of tears of pain behind his eyes.

Vlad, in the background, was quiet. He watched as Jack did a careful, but well, job at removing the shards from his son's injured hands, and cleaning the wounds. Maddie was soothing her son, combing his hair with a careful hand. But, Danny remained still. He watched his hands as if they really weren't his. Vlad saw the boy's light blue eyes scan the wounds on his skin in amazement and surprise, not in shock and pain, as one should.

To him, that quiet amazement was very scary.

"All done, Danny-boy!"

Jack's smile was beaming and comforting. Danny blinked carefully and smiled as best as he could. "Thanks, Dad."

"What happened, sweetheart?" Maddie asked.

"I, uh. I got so happy with Vlad's gift to me, I couldn't help but hold onto it. I guess I, ah, held onto it a little _too_ tightly." Danny moved his gaze from his mother to Vlad, keeping the smile on his face. "Sorry, Vlad. I didn't mean to break your gift."

Vlad did his best to keep a convincing face. "Quite alright, my boy. I could always send you another in the mail. Or even, a different, better replica. What would you say to that?"

"Thank you."

Danny clenched his bandaged fists, feeling his heartbeat pulse behind his wounds. He was amazed by that. By the pain on his human skin, even if the ectoplasm within his body healed his skin faster than normal.

He wondered how painful his injuries would feel with the wind hitting them.

* * *

Vlad was gone by eight and, by ten, the majority of his family was asleep. Jazz liked waking up in the early morning, and she was normally the one to wake up everyone else in the family. Maddie and Jack were forced to go to sleep early after spending all of the previous night in the lab.

All this meant Danny could leave his house even earlier than he'd hoped.

He sat on the edge of the roof of the Ops-Center, injured hands dangling over next to his feet. He had removed the bandages, and the wounds were still open. His blood smelled horrible, and moving his hands hurt a bit. Danny clenched his fists once again, wincing at the pain.

No one was here to watch over him, so it took just a moment to switch from human to ghost. He lifted himself off the roof and floated slowly upwards. But, before he could go any further, his cellphone rang quietly. Danny dug into the pocket of his suit, looking at the screen.

 _Caller: Tucker._

Danny pressed the answer button and brought the phone to his face. "Hey, Tuck. What are you doing up, man?"

"I need to talk to you, dude," Tucker said. "Think you could come over to my house?"

The halfa was tempted to say no. To say he was busy. He wanted to know how his wounds would feel when he fell. Instead, the boy sighed. He barely hung around his friends anymore, always too busy with ghost fighting or misleading his parents and sister. Danny sighed.

"Sure, man. I'll fly over."

Danny dropped the call and flew downwards, instead of up. He did his best to rationalize this. _Going to Tucker's house won't be so bad._

* * *

Tucker's bedroom window was open and, even though Danny really didn't need to, the half-ghost flew carefully through the open space. He floated into his friend's room, and barely closed the window behind him.

"Hey, Tuck," Danny chimed, transforming back into his human form and plopping onto Tucker's desk chair.

Tucker sat on his bed, Indian-style. His normally beret-flatted hair was fluffier. The boy's eyes looked over Danny, emotion hidden behind them. "Hey, Danny. Can…Can I ask you a question?"

Danny raised an eyebrow, "Sure."

Tucker didn't say anything, at first. Merely watched Danny with a careful gaze, hands folded together tightly.

"Uh…how…how are you feeling, man?"

At this question, Danny narrowed his eyes. "Uh, I'm fine, Tuck."

Tucker sighed at the response, and shook his head. "I mean, how are you _feeling_ , Danny?"

"I just said-"

Tucker shook his head, and unfolded his legs to jump out of his bed. He always hated beating around the bush. "Dude."

"Yeah…?"

"I saw you."

Danny clicked his tongue, "What the Hell are you talking about, Tucker?"

"I saw you falling, Danny."

Danny blinked, feeling as if ice was crawling under his skin, covering his stomach, lungs, and heart. "I'm always falling, Tucker. I'm a clumsy fuck, dude."

"You were in your ghost form," Tucker said, then swallowed. "About a week ago, you were just floating in the sky, at night, in your ghost form. Then, I don't even fucking know why, but you just turned back into a human. And…and…"

The iciness in his chest got worse, and his throat was tightening. No. Tucker couldn't know. "Tuck, I just got spooked-"

"No, dude!" Tucker hissed. "You…you did that on purpose. God, fucking crap, Danny! Do you…do you want to die, or something?"

"What?!" Danny shook his head. "Tucker, Tuck. No. It's not like that"

"Then what is it?!"

"Keep your voice down, moron. You'll wake up your parents."

Tucker closed his mouth, his jaw clenching.

Danny combed his hands through his hair. He didn't want anyone to know about his new habit.

"What happened to your hands, Danny?"

"Accident."

"Bullshit."

Danny glared at his long-time friend. "It was a fucking accident, Tucker. I held onto something too tightly and I broke it accidentally with my weird amount of strength. I didn't do it on purpose."

"But, the falling, is it on purpose?"

The anger dissipated from Danny as he slumped down on the chair. "…Yes. I…I use it to cope, dude."

"Cope with what?"

"With this fucking stupid head of mine!" Danny grabbed onto his hair this time, lowering his head. "Why, man? Why do I keep feeling like I'm drowning? I don't get it. It's _every time_ I go ghost. It's almost every day. Everyday feels like I'm underwater and I can't come up for some air. I feel like I'm inside this…this bubble or something…and everyone is just pushing the bubble up and up into the air and…and I can't get out of it. I can't stop feeling like I'm just this ice cube or this numb little animal."

He held on tighter to his hair. "I just…I just needed to feel human, for just a bit. Because I don't, Tuck. I don't feel human enough."

The tears he wanted to shed wouldn't come out. However, Tucker walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him. The hold the other boy had around him was tight, forcing Danny to press his face into his friend's neck. Tucker smelled like cotton and metal, different than his parents' scent of sweat and baked goods. It was more comforting, softer than his mother's hand on his hair or his father bandaging his hands.

Danny choked out, "I don't feel human enough, Tucker. I-I don't want to die, or anything. I just…I just don't feel human enough."

Tucker couldn't say anything about that. But, he did the best he could to just hold onto his closest friend.

* * *

Extra Notes: Editing this chapter to update it was a pain in the butt. I hope it looks okay now. Thank you for reading.


	6. Explanations

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: "I know I have responsibilities to see through, and people who would be disappointed in me. But, for some reason, I'm just completely zoned out. I'm completely unable to register what these things mean emotionally."

Word Count: 1, 179.

Warnings: OOC. Swearing. Depression. Disassociation. Depersonalization. Mention of suicide.

Notes: Someone asked if I'll include Sam more into this story. There won't be much of her here because I wanted to focus on this concept of depersonalization, and on the conversation between Tucker and Danny. I'm mainly writing friendship-type chapters for this series, so there won't be too much romantic drama.

* * *

 **Explanations**

* * *

Tucker was reasonable about everything, at the very least. He kept his arms wrapped around Danny's shoulders, and a hand combing through his hair. He hadn't called anyone's parents yet, and he was sure none of them would understand. He barely understood his friend most of the time, and he's known Danny since kindergarten. But, this particular experience was even harder to understand.

"How did you describe it again?" Tucker murmured, in the middle of the night. "Underwater?"

"It feels more than that, sometimes." Danny said into the boy's shirt, "Imagine being thrown suddenly into a very deep body of water, right?

"Right."

"You are completely submerged underwater, but you can still breathe fairly well." Danny tapped his fingers against his friend's shoulder. "You're underwater, but it only feels like your _brain_ is underwater. Now, imagine being underwater inside of a fish bowl."

"A fish bowl? What-"

"I'm getting to that," Danny said quickly, his eyebrow twitching in slight irritation. "It _feels_ like you're submerged, while being inside of a fish bowl. Your friends, your family, your responsibilities; they're that stupid little kid that likes poking at the fish bowl because their attention is on the fish."

"Now _that's_ a metaphor."

"Shut up," Danny said, but with less irritation, and a small smile on his face.

"For some reason, that fish, you, _me_ , isn't even registering the people and things tapping on their bowl. It, me, knows the people are there. I know I have responsibilities to see through, and people who would be disappointed in me. But, for some _fucking reason_ , I'm just completely zoned out. I'm completely unable to register what these things mean emotionally."

"And that correlates to feeling inhuman?"

"Kind of," Danny answered, brows furrowing and mouth pursed. "It's like two different feelings happening at once. This disconnection, this…is one part of me. The part that feels inhuman is, I guess, fueled by it, so the feeling gets worse. When _that_ particular feeling gets bad, it's…it's Hell, Tuck."

Danny could feel Tucker's arms tighten their hold around him. "Tell me about it, a little."

This time, Danny closed his eyes. "It…it starts with my hands. You know my ice powers?"

"Yeah."

"It feels like my hands are blasting one ice shard after another, but I'm not doing anything. My hands are…are numb, I guess, and that numbness spreads through to my arms and my shoulders, and the rest of me. God, I sound fucking crazy."

"Keep talking, I'm listening. It's okay, Danny."

"But-"

"Danny, look at me."

Danny looked up, staring at his friend. Tucker's green eyes were dark and serious. He made the same face as when there is a ghost threat, or Danny had been injured in a fight. For all the talk of Tucker only paying attention to his technology, it was just that. Talk. All of Tucker's attention was set on Danny and, for some reason, it made the tightness in Danny's chest lessen.

"I'm here for you, Danny," Tucker said. "You're my best friend. And I'm not backing away just because I don't fully understand you. I'm gonna stay to help you out. Because if _I_ don't really get it, then you must be lost as all Hell."

"Heh," Danny laughed, softly. "Yeah. Um…when that…when that numbness happens, it feels less and less like actually, you know, being frozen and more…detached. My hands, my arms, legs…they stop feeling like they're mine. I can walk and move, and fight just fine but I feel like I'm just a backseat passenger, and the car is being driven by someone else. And I'm not remembering things, and I'm not even registering thing, and…and…"

Danny closed his eyes, feeling that prickling sensation come up behind them. "And then, when I finally can register things again, and feel, at least, a little normal, it's so damn _overwhelming_ that I have to figure out how to let them go."

The halfa sighed, "No wonder Sydney Poindexter did what he did."

"Poindexter killed himself, Danny," Tucker said, quietly. He didn't want to think of his friend being _fully_ dead. "He was bullied badly, and the help that exists now didn't exist when he was alive. You can get help, Danny."

Danny pulled himself away from Tucker, and sat up with slouched shoulders. "How can I even _begin_ to explain this to someone, Tucker? I'm barely able to form a coherent sentence while talking to you, dude. Imagine a professional. And even then, they'll ask when I started feeling like this, and what made it like this, and all that other shit. I know I'm pretty good at lying, man, but a professional is going to be able to catch on eventually."

He rubbed his eyes, his head aching unimaginably. "What am I going to do, Tuck? Oh, God, what am I going to _do_? I shouldn't even be feeling like this. Why the fuck am I feeling like this now? Now, of all times?"

Danny sighed, sharply. He looked towards his friend, whose eyes were squinting. Tucker spoke up, "Have you, and I know this is gonna sound weird, but…have you spoken to Plasmius?"

At that, Danny twitched. "Why would I talk to that fruit loop?"

"Well, he's a halfa, too, and…he might know how to help you out better than me."

"Dude," Danny said, his eyes widening. "Man's a wack job."

"A wack job who definitely knows a thing or two about depression."

Danny clicked his tongue, looking away from Tucker. He wasn't wrong. But how would Danny even approach Vlad, of all people living, dead, or otherwise, about this. He imagined if Dani, his clone, was feeling how he felt. But the girl was never really human in the first place. She was created as a Halfling, and knows nothing else other than her powers and halfa status.

Vlad was the only other person who might feel how Danny felt. It made him clench his fists. "I'll…think about it."

"You're not going to do it."

"Yeah, I'm not."

Tucker plopped down onto his back. "I'm not asking you to shout your worries to him, Danny. But…try to think about how you'll approach him. He might be able to help out. Or he might know someone. He's nuts but, he's not all bad, right?"

"That's true."

"I know Sam hates him, but she's a little, ah, closed minded."

Danny chuckled. "She's not that bad."

"You're only saying that because you're crushing on her."

Danny smacked Tucker on his stomach, but the boy holding back giggles and chuckles, and barely registered it. "I'm not crushing on her, asshat. Shut up."

Danny lied back down, and closed his eyes. "I'll…think about how I'll talk to him. For you."

"For yourself, dude," Tucker said, eyes also closing. "Because you're going through Hell, and you hate it"

"Yeah, okay. For me."

But, even with that thought in mind, Danny had one more ahead of that one. Falling from as high as he could fly. Falling and feeling that adrenaline rush, and not having to wait until his brain goes back to normal. Falling and feeling alive.


	7. Slow Day

Author: Alicia of the Temptation.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, materials, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is, in no way, associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: _I guess I have to go through that promise I made to Tucker._

Word Count: 1, 956.

Warnings: Discussion of mental illnesses, including depression and disassociation, and of self-injury and suicide.

Notes: I'm having a hard time balancing college and free time, so updates will be sporadic. I really like writing this, and I hope I'm doing the best I can. I'm using a little of my own experiences while writing this story, which makes it easier, at least. Please, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Seven

Slow Day

* * *

 **Everyday wasn't a day to angst and mull over his current half-dead status.** Eventually, there would be a slow day where he would have plenty of time to think about his life, his friends and family, the ghosts he encounters. Even himself. One slow day came right along a Monday, which meant he didn't have to leave his bed insanely early to go to classes he stopped caring about a while ago.

Mondays also meant his parents would drive over to the town neighboring Amity Park, Pineville, and Jazz would be in her scheduled class for the dual-enrollment program she was in. The best part of this particular Monday? Teacher work day, meaning there wasn't a class to actually go to in the first place. The break made the guilt in Danny's thoughts lessen for the day.

Okay. So he might do _a little_ angsting.

Danny curled himself underneath his bed-covers, which was more out of habit than necessity. Ever since his cyrokinesis developed, the halfa rarely felt cold. Most of the time, it was the opposite. He was ridiculously overheated, even on days when hail or snow fell, or some weird ectoplasmic mutation of the two did, instead. In some way, his ability to control his core's nature helped when there wasn't really anyone to comfort him, or who understood how to comfort him.

Sometimes, he didn't want hugs and back rubs. He didn't want "it's going to be okay's" or "everything will get better's;" sometimes, Danny just wanted someone to sit next to him, just to know that person was there for him. Just to know the person was actually there; a human being with warm hands and a beating heart. Because, although he made many allies in the Ghost Zone, having someone with no beating heart or warm hands to calm him down next to him just freaked him out even more than usual.

 _Maybe I'm the best comfort I have for myself_ , Danny concluded, eyes narrowing. _I'd sound like a normal, lonely teenager if it weren't for the fact I've got a fucked up metabolism. Hell, a fucked up life._

He supposed it could've been worse. His parents obsessed over ghosts, but they weren't neglectful. They were just…blind to what their son was going on. Danny guessed it was partially his fault; he never did tell his parents about his ghost powers. And he didn't want to bother them now with ghost powers combined with emotional turmoil.

Danny clicked his tongue, _They'd probably think it's puberty or something stupid like that._

For a moment, he was reminded of his talk with Tucker. How he promised to go to Vlad, see if the older halfa experienced something similar to Danny. The thought of going to that man had Danny clenching his fists. His thoughts went back to last week, when he smashed Vlad's gift with his bare hands, leaving shards of glass into the palm of his hands.

His trash hadn't been cleaned out yet, and the glass shards were still in the bag.

The thought made Danny push himself out of bed. It was the middle of a Monday afternoon, which means there would be too much activity going on in Amity Park. Even if he flew high into the air and went invisible, the point of falling was to do so while human, in order to increase the feeling of _being human_. He couldn't do that when there was a dozen people in the streets below him. Tucker caught him falling weeks ago during the middle of the _night_ ; falling during the day would lead to a catastrophe.

Danny looked over to his trash can, which was situated in front of his bedside cabinet. Underneath crinkled candy wrappers and abandoned homework assignments lay the remains of the miniature spaceship and its glass case. Danny reached down into the trash, and carefully dug out the shiniest piece of glass. It was the thinnest shard, just a hint thicker than his fingernail, with a smooth edge that shined in the light of his bedroom.

The brunet stared at the glass piece, looking over the edge left from his show of strength. In his hands, it looked more like crystal than plain glass, something beautiful and dangerous in the wrong hands. Danny wondered if he could mimic the same shock of sensation from breaking the glass by cutting his palms with the remains.

Immediately, Danny dropped the shard, as if he had been burned.

 _What the_ _ **fuck**_ _is wrong with you, Fenton?!_ Danny scooted away from the place in his bed he had been, clawing into his sheets, instead of into the glass. _Cutting yourself? Seriously? As if the crying and the falling wasn't bad enough for you!_

It was already bad enough with the crying, the anger, the feeling of being unreal. Adding physical pain to the mix is like adding arsenic to vodka; you won't really taste it until you're already dead. And he was having trouble being _half-dead_.

Did he want to die completely? Hell fucking no. No, fucking thanks.

Did he want to cut himself? One, he was wounded enough as it was after fighting the ghosts he crossed paths with. He didn't want more unnecessary,inexplicable wounds on his body. Two, even if he was injured, intentionally or not, the ectoplasm in his blood and muscles would heal his skin as soon as he ate a full meal. The effort in making himself put a blade to his skin would have been for naught.

Danny brought his knees up to his chest, then rested his forehead on them. He hugged his legs closer to him, and curled, and curled, himself as tightly as his body allowed. When the ache in his abdomen and back began from the position, Danny focused on that pain. He didn't have to break open his skin to feel a physical ache. All he had to do was stay in his human form.

If he could stay in his human form for more than half a day, maybe the feeling of being stuck would go away.

But, as soon as that thought was complete, his lungs filled with burning cold air, and Danny watched as his breath fogged out from his lips. There was a ghost nearby, close, given the larger plume of fog coming from his lungs. When Danny unfolded himself from his position, he was able to see just which ghost it was.

"Hello, my boy."

"Plasmius."

 _I guess I have to go through that promise I made to Tucker._

Vlad immediately shifted from his ghost state to his human state, immaculate as always. He dusted off the shoulders of his suit, and look over to Danny with dark gray eyes that were difficult to read. "It's been a while since I've last seen you, Daniel."

"A week, Plasmius."

"Oh, come now," Vlad said with a dry smile. "Just call me Uncle Vlad. I'm not in my ghost form."

"Doesn't make you any less threatening," Danny replied, eyes narrow. "What the Hell do you want?"

"Language, Daniel," Vlad chided, approaching Danny's desk to sit down on the chair in front of it. He crossed his long legs easily, and folded his hands over his knee. "I couldn't help but remember your tantrum last week."

"It wasn't a tantrum, you old fuck," Danny hissed. "I was having a bad day, is all."

"Hm, yes. We all have bad days, Daniel," Vlad said, ignoring the insult. "But, it's merely a matter of how we control ourselves during those bad days. Surely you wouldn't understand, seeing as you're a mere child-"

"Did you come here to patronize me?" Danny asked between his teeth, "Or did you have something substantial to say?"

"I'm getting to that, Daniel," Vlad answered. "As I was saying, you are a mere child. However, it does not excuse your feelings and how you decide to show them. The damage you made to your hands was…unsettling…and I merely wanted to know how badly you felt so as to let your anger take form."

"How badly I-" Danny scoffed, and lied back down onto his bed. He brought the bedsheets to him, and covered himself from neck to toe. "How I _feel_ is none of your fucking business, Plasmius."

"I believe it is," Vlad said. "You are not only the son of my dear old friends, but you are also my arch-rival, and I cannot have someone I fight with be distracted by such troubling thoughts."

"Troubling thoughts? I'm _half-dead_ , Vlad. And to make matters worse, there hasn't been a ghost to fight or a project to turn in for several weeks, and I'm not doing a thing. And when I don't do anything, my mind starts wandering. And when that happens, I start to _fucking lose it_!"

Danny covered his mouth with his hands and screamed into his palms. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to bite into the cool skin of his hands. But, before he could bite hard enough to open his skin, his hands were taken away from him.

Vlad held the boy's hands in his own hands. It was a strange happenstance; Vlad's hands were warmer than Danny's and his skin was rough from age and years of fighting. For a moment, Danny wondered if his hands would be just as worn as Vlad's, or if his ice powers would keep his skin smooth and cold for the rest of his life.

"Daniel," Vlad swallowed. " _Danny_. I understand why you're thinking like this."

"No, Vlad, you-"

"Do not even _finish_ that sentence," Vlad said, hissing at the end. "I've been a halfa since the eighties, almost ten years before you were even _conceived_. Before your parents were even dating." He held onto Danny's hands a little tighter.

"If anyone knows the difficulties in being a halfa, it is most definitely me. I know _exactly_ what it feels like to look at your hands and think you cannot control them. I know what it feels like to look at your reflection, and wonder if it really is you the mirror is showing. I know exactly what it feels like to want to take a blade to your skin, or fall from a great distance only to pick yourself up again. I know _exactly_ what you are feeling, Danny."

Danny stared at Vlad, at his enemy, at the only person who honest to God understands his feelings. And, for a moment, just a moment, he felt grateful. He felt his chest open, almost releasing the emotional tension within his ribs. However, Danny clicked his tongue again, and pulled his hands away from Vlad's. He could feel his eyes prickle from tears, and cool down from his powers. His powers never failed to make an appearance when he felt horrible.

"Then why does it happen?" Danny murmured. "Why do I have to feel like God or the cosmos, or whomever, or whatever, threw me into this giant pool of water. Why do I feel like I'm unable to come back up to the surface? Why do I feel like I can only _look_ at my friends, my family, and my classmates, but I could never really see them? Why do I have to…why do I have to bother?"

"Danny?"

Danny looked down at his lap, his head falling lower, his shoulders slumped over. "Why do I have to bother having these powers, being a hero when no one else can, being here when no one else is? Why…why am I not allowed to just feel happy and calm for _once_?"

The boy looked up at the man, who was quiet, face filled with worry. "Why can't I just stop breathing?"


	8. Uncomfortable

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Although this healing factor didn't stop the emotional pain, at least he could still breathe and move comfortably. Right now, though, he wasn't very comfortable.

Warnings: AU. Discussion of depression and suicide.

Notes: Computer problems suck. Hopefully, this story doesn't. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Eight

Uncomfortable

* * *

Danny, after a year and a half of having his ghost powers, came to find some small blessings within whatever pain and sadness he felt. One of those blessings happen to be his healing factor. His hands were clean of the cuts and scars from breaking his model spaceship. Most of his body healed very well while he was in his ghost form, and only a few bruises and scars ever transferred over to his human body. Although this healing factor didn't stop the emotional pain, at least he could still breathe and move comfortably.

Right now, though, he wasn't very comfortable.

Danny kept his head lowered while Vlad paced the living room. The older halfa had called his parents half an hour ago, but Danny didn't want to know what the man said in order to get his parents to stop their hunting obsession.

 _Ironic_ , the boy shook his head. _I'm the one whose half ghost, but my parents are the one with the obsession._

"Vlad?"

"Yes, Danny?"

The dark-haired boy stared up at the gray-haired halfa, his hands closing into fists. "What do you expect would happen…if I told Mom and Dad I was half-ghost?"

"You don't have to tell them right now-"

"If I tell them what I think, how I'm feeling," Danny said, a little louder, "then they're going to ask why."

"I suppose you could tell them, then."

Danny stared at Vlad, his body going cold. "My parents are ghost hunters. They've threatened to rip me apart, molecule by molecule."

"They didn't know it was you."

Danny shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I'm sure, as scientists, they'll want to know how I tick. How I exist as both a human and a ghost. I'm sure…I'm afraid…they'll want to get samples of my skin or my blood."

"Danny, you are their _son_ ," Vlad said, kneeling down in front of the boy to meet his eyes. "They will not-"

"We're home!"

Danny and Vlad turned their heads towards the front door, watching as Jack and Maddie put their weapons down. "Vladdy!" Jack boomed, "Good to see you, man! We got your call!"

"Danny, sweetheart. Vlad said you weren't feeling well." Maddie approached her son easily, placing an ungloved hand over Danny's forehead. "You're not warm. Do you have a sore throat? A headache?"

Tch. If only it was that simple.

"Maddie. Jack." Vlad sat down besides Danny, "Please, take a seat. There is something that must be discussed."

A good sign he was still somewhat human was his quickening pulse.

"Danny, son, is there something wrong?" Jack asked, sitting across from the duo, looking over his son.

What should he say? What should he say? Should he just jump right into an admission, flat out say he was the infamous ghost Phantom, the one his parents swore to tear apart? Should he explain how he's feeling, try to put into words how tired and drained, and completely numb he was? Maybe his mom was right about that headache.

Breathe. Breathe. Start slowly because he wasn't going to get anything done just by thinking.

Clenched fists. A budding headache. A speeding heart. Hopeful human reactions. Focus on the human aspect.

"I, uh…Before I get started with, um, with what I need to talk about…Uh, I'm gonna ask a few questions. If, if that's okay?"

"Of course, son," Jack said, grinning. "Ask away!"

Danny peeked over to Vlad, who nodded his head in encouragement. "When you guys were first starting out with your ghost experiments, how many, uh, scientists were involved?"

"Well," Maddie said, almost prideful. "Aside from Vlad, Jack and I, there was around five more scientists who were intrigued by our research. Of course, they…weren't as supportive of what we were researching."

"Why?" Danny questioned, brows furrowing.

"A couple of our colleagues were convinced we were actually going to hurt ghosts. Of course, you can't really hurt a ghost-"

"How do you know that?" Danny said, heartbeat fast and eyes full of emotion. "How do you know you can't really hurt a ghost, Mom?"

"Well, they are just embodiments of post-human consciousness. They have no memories of their human lives, and nothing that truly gives them a human component."

"How do you know that? Have you ever sat down and talked with a ghost to see if they have human thought, human emotion?"

"Well, it's a little hard when they're trying to attack you-"

"Or maybe they're attacking you because you and Dad are waving freaking guns at them."

"Danny," Vlad hissed, shaking his head.

Danny sighed, letting his head fall back to stare at the ceiling. "No use getting mad." He closed his eyes and tried to refocus. "Ghosts are embodiments of post-human consciousness. Then, is it possible…is it possible that a ghost, or at least a part of what makes a ghost, can attach itself onto a human?"

"Are you suggesting a ghost and a human combing to form some hybrid?" Jack asked, eyes dark and focusing on his son. "That's not possible. It's never been done, but ghosts are not compatible with humans."

"Has anyone ever tried to see?"

"Danny," Jack said, leaning forward. "That's not possible, mainly due to the ethical standpoint of using human subjects, along with the fact that ghosts, who were humans, no longer have human cells."

Jack shook his head. "Why are you asking these questions? You were never interested in our work."

Danny raised his head and looked at his father. "I'm asking these questions…because they concern me. They concern what I've been through. What I've seen."

"Are you talking about that minor accident you had last year?" Maddie asked. "Sam and Tucker said you were zapped a little by the portal when it activated."

"It wasn't a little."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It _wasn't_ a little!" Danny yelled, feeling the ectoplasm in his blood fill the veins around his eyes. "I was zapped with several thousand volts of electricity mixed with ectoplasm. Mom, Dad, I fucking half _died_."

Well, shit.

Maddie, Jack, and even Vlad stared at Danny with shock. With no words from them, Danny continued.

"Sam and Tucker lied about the accident because I asked them to. I…I wasn't going into the portal to get myself killed or anything. I was just trying to help. You guys looked so disappointed when the portal didn't work when you wanted it to, and I…I didn't like that you guys were so sad. So…so I put on a hazmat suit and went into the portal that I thought was not operational."

If he left his friends out of the full story, maybe they wouldn't get in trouble like he was going to be.

"I went inside the portal and tripped. I tripped over a cable inside the portal and accidentally pressed the buttons inside the portal."

Who the fuck puts the on button inside something so unstable? His parents, unfortunately.

Maddie looked like she was about to speak, but Danny kept speaking. "Before I could get out of the portal, it turned on. I was very close to the core of the portal, so I got the most of the attack. I was…I was electrified by several volts of electricity fused with ectoplasm. From…from what I understand-"

Leave Tucker's research out of it. Leave Sam's worry out of it.

"From what I got of the accident…half of my human cells died from the electricity."

He could see his parents face turn pale, could see the horror and sadness in their eyes. He could see his father's eyes, the eyes he inherited, fill with tears the man rarely shed.

'Half of my human cells died, and the other half was about to die as well, if it weren't for the ectoplasm within the electricity. The electricity brought my heart back to life, while the ectoplasm changed my genes. I died and remained alive all at once. I'm…I'm half ghost, Mom, Dad."

"But…but that's not possible," Maddie said in a shaky voice. 'It's not! Humans and ghosts, they aren't compatible!"

Danny's own eyes filled with tears, and he knew, from the change of light around him, they were glowing with ectoplasm. He watched his mother and father's horror-stricken faces, heartbeat uncontrollable. He had to keep going.

"It's…it's not the only secret I've kept, to be honest."

Now or never.

Danny stood up and closed his eyes, tapping into the deepest part of his core to bring out his ghost half. He could feel the cold light change his body from a human appearance to a ghost one. To his Phantom form.

"…Phantom." Jack shook his head, "No. No. This is a lie. A trick. My son is…is not Phantom!"

Jack shot up from his chair and grabbed Danny by his collar, ignoring Vlad and Maddie calling his name.

"Listen to me, you pile of ectoplasmic scum, get out of my son immediately, or I will tear you apart with my own bare hands!"

Danny opened his eyes and stared at his father, tears falling down his cheeks. "This isn't some ghost overshadowing me. Dad-"

"Do _not_ call me that! You are _not_ my son! You are just some disgusting piece of ectoplasmic shit that decided to mess with the wrong family."

Before Jack could land a blow, Danny became intangible, and floated back from his parents and Vlad. Vlad, whose face showed more surprise and fear than Danny had ever seen on the man's face.

"Just some piece of ectoplasmic shit, huh?" Danny swallowed, "Then, I guess someone is gonna have to clean me off the street."

"Daniel, no-"

"I fucking knew they wouldn't accept me, Vlad. I fucking knew it." Danny looked to his parents. Jack, whose face was full of fury and shock. Maddie, who was still crying, even in her horror.

"I didn't even get a chance to explain _how_ I feel. Like they care. I'm just some ghost. Even if that ghost is still the half-dead version of their son, that doesn't matter to them. And if that doesn't matter to them, then it won't matter if I'm full ghost, either."

"Daniel, don't. Please, don't!"

"I'm sorry." Danny said, turning invisible. "But this was bound to happen. Might as well speed up the process."

Before anyone could say another word, Danny was gone.

"Danny!" Vlad yelled, his own heart speeding up. No, no. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"That's not Danny," Maddie said under her breath. "That's not. That's just-"

"Even if it _was_ some ghost, it was the ghost of your son! Your Danny!" Vlad turned to the two parents, angry, so angry. "This was a boy who hid his secret for a year! This was a boy who had to avoid you almost every single day, in both forms, to avoid getting injured! This was a boy who was so numbed out, not because of his ghost powers, but from the circumstances happening around him, that he literally felt he was underwater!"

Vlad rushed out of the living room, yelling. "And right now, your son, your Danny, might just fucking kill himself because his parents didn't accept him! And I'm not going to let that happen to him! Apparently, I care more about a boy who isn't even related to me than his own fucking parents!"

"Vlad!"

Vlad stopped at the doorway, gritting his teeth. "Go to Hell. Both of you can go straight to Hell."

He left the two shocked adults, running down the front steps and down the sidewalk. He looked up to the sky, hopeful to see a streak of white and green, but nothing appeared. Once he was far enough, he himself transformed into his ghost half, and rushed to find a boy. A living, breathing child. Hopeful, that he wouldn't find a corpse, instead.


	9. Infinite

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: A fleeting thought went through him. _So, this is what it's like to feel infinite_.

Warnings: AU. Discussion of dissociation, depersonalization, depression, and mention of self-harm and suicide.

Notes: This is probably the longest chapter I have written for this story. Probably the longest chapter I have ever written in my history on this site. I feel like the story should come to an end soon, either in the next chapter or in the twelfth chapter, since I am finicky over my story formatting. Seriously, though, prepare yourselves, and enjoy.

* * *

Chapter Nine

Infinite

* * *

Realistically, Danny knew his parents were mainly in shock. He knew, as the son of scientists and a budding enthusiastic himself, his parents would focus on both aspects of this situation; the emotional and scientific.

Floating several thousand feet above his hometown, however, made him more melancholic, rather than logical. His frustration over his mother's words and his father's actions had died down as soon as he flew up above the clouds.

Now, all he was left with was a pain in his chest, sore eyes, and a budding headache. As his eyes filled with tears once again, Danny wanted nothing more than to feel numb. At this point, though, he wanted anything except this pain.

Danny folded his legs in Indian-style, shoulders slumped. He stared at his gloved hands, and removed the left, white glove. His hand was tan underneath, but filled with thin Lichtenburg scars, each glowing with ectoplasm. Danny stared at his hand, stretching out his fingers, feeling the strain in his wrist. He hadn't fought a ghost in months now. He didn't even want to bother with ghost-fighting.

The boy sighed. _Maybe it would be easier if I was dead. I wouldn't feel so bad right now if I was._

The idea didn't spark death, however. It sparked inspiration.

Danny stretched out of his position, bending backwards until his head was facing the town below and his feet pointing to the sky above. He watched the town from between the strands of his white hair, bright eyes searching over each building and car. How many people would see Fenton falling? How many people would think it was Fenton?

The boy took a deep breath and focused on his core, imagining his human hand melting the ice surrounding it. The response was automatic; white light burst as he released his ghostly transformation, returning to plain clothes. And without a solid ghost form to keep him afloat, gravity took over. Danny fell from his place in the sky sharply.

This time, he didn't yell. He was flooded with adrenaline, excitement and terror making his heart beat quickly. He could feel the wind hit his cheeks, cooling his heated skin. He could feel the wind pulling back his hair, going through his fingers. Most importantly, he could feel his frustration and sadness float away behind him.

A fleeting thought went through him. _So, this is what it's like to feel infinite_.

Danny enjoyed it. Craved it. He wondered why he remained in a slump for so many weeks when he could have just done this whenever he felt horrible. He understood, so clearly know, why kids his age would hurt themselves. This, falling freely through the air, released every bit of overwhelming emotions in his body. It was basically the same principle as cutting yourself – you didn't cut yourself because you want to die. You cut yourself because you want to feel alive.

And here he was, falling closer and closer to his town. A few more miles and he would return to his phantom form, and easily rest upon a nearby rooftop.

Something tackled into him, instead.

"Gah! What the fuck?!"

"Danny…"

Danny felt arms tighten around him. He stared at the familiar black gloves and white sleeves, and even watched as his breath became a visible, pale green. Plasmius. "Vlad, let me go."

The older halfa did not answer.

"Vlad, come on. Let me go. I'll just transform back-"

 _Drip_.

A droplet landed on his cheek, and Danny stared up at the face of the man he once called an enemy. Vlad's eyes were filled with tears, streaming down his cheeks. His expression reminded him the anguish he saw in the families of people who died. Who couldn't be saved from the aftermath of bad luck. Danny did nothing but stare back with wide eyes.

"Danny. Danny, please, do not do this." Vlad took a deep breath, "I can help you. Your friends can help. Your family-"

"My family does not accept me," Danny said, sadder than he intended. "They cannot help me. And I'm not letting my friends suffer through this with me. I…I don't want any help. Not anymore." He let his body slump, "I'm just exhausted."

Danny looked up at the sky, staring at the half-moon and the few stars there were. "I'm just exhausted. I'm tired of feeling numb. I'm tired of feeling _tired_. You have to know what it's like. You told me yourself."

The weightlessness, the release of all his emotions, left him more drained than when he started. It's too late. It's not enough anymore. How high would he have to go, how much would he have to hide, to feel normally again?

Feeling nothing is too bad. Feeling everything is too bad. And he just wants to shake himself out of the slump he's in, but he can't, he _can't_ , he's just too Goddamn tired.

Danny let his head rest against Vlad's shoulder. "Can you do me a favor, Vlad?"

"Of course, Danny."

"Take me to Tucker's house. I don't think I could face my parents for a while."

"Very well."

With that in action, Vlad turned Danny and himself invisible, and flew towards Tucker's home.

* * *

Anxiety is a piece of shit. One day, you're just chilling in your room, playing some Pokémon, and the next thing you know, you're filled with this terrible sense of 'holy fucking shit, something's gonna happen.'

When that happened to Tucker, he just lied down on his floor and stared at his ceiling. Lying down on floors helped a lot, he wondered why no one else did it when they felt like shit.

Tucker stared out his window, thankful and annoyed by the fact he didn't have his glasses on. His vision was blurry and his eyes were already starting to feel the strain. As he got up to retrieve his glasses, a chill went down his back.

He ignored it, knowing well enough only Danny could make a room this cold. However, as soon as he put on his glasses, he turned and realized Danny wasn't the only ghost in his bedroom.

"Fuck."

"Adolescents have such horrendous manners nowadays."

"Says the guy who blasts a fifteen-year-old every once in a while for the fuck of it," Danny noted.

"Hush, child. I'm helping you."

Tucker watched, brows raised, as Vlad set the boy down on one of Tucker's beanbag chairs. "Is he alright?"

"I'm fucking peachy," Danny answered. "Just tired, you know. Tired. And pissed. And sad. The usual." The halfa lifted his head to stare at Tucker. "Told my parents today I was half-ghost, by the way."

"Say what?!"

Danny nodded, barely able to keep his eyes open. "Yep. Transformed into Phantom right in front of them. You think Jazz and Sam still have that emergency stash, by the way? I think I'm gonna need that. You know, just in case my parents decide to run me out of town. If they're being merciful."

"Danny," Vlad said. "Your parents just need time to process this."

"Ghost. Hunters." Danny said, waving a hand. "They are scientists. They hunt ghosts. I don't know if they've ever actually captured one to study. I doubt it. I think they're a little like people who are in power and way over their heads; they shoot first, and ask questions later." Danny looked over to his friend. "So, do they?"

Tucker sighed and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. He dialed Sam's number while also grabbing his PDA.

" _Hello?_ "

"Danny and I need your help, Sam. You still have the stash with you?"

"… _Yeah. I do._ "

"Bring it over. I'm going to call Jazz."

" _How bad is it_?"

Tucker looked up to the two halfas in his room. Danny was slumped over in the red beanbag chair. Vlad was picking at his fingernails, his face reminiscent of Tucker's father when he's worried.

"Hella."

" _Alright. I'm on my way._ "

Tucker dropped the call, and proceeded to call Jazz. Before he could get talk, however, Jazz beat him to the punch.

" _What did my parents do to my brother?_ "

"They didn't accept him," Tucker said, anger bubbling in his stomach. "I need you to come over. Bring your stash."

"… _My parents crazy, I know that,_ " Jazz whispered. " _But this is my brother, their son. They wouldn't hurt him._ "

"My father called me a pile of ectoplasmic scum and threatened to rip me apart," Danny said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "So, I think they would hurt me."

"Did you hear that, Jazz?"

" _Yeah. Crap. I'll bring my stash._ "

"Alright."

Tucker dropped the call and sighed, staring at Danny, then to Vlad. "Listen, I hope you can help out. Otherwise, I want you out of the way. I don't know how your so-called friendship with Danny's parents works, but if you snitch on him, I'll grab the ghost gauntlets and rip _you_ apart, molecule by molecule."

This was the first time Vlad felt threatened by a human. "Understood."

Tucker pocketed his phone and grabbed his PDA, pulling out the plans. What pissed him off was the fact that his friends and him devised a contingency plan in case Danny's parents didn't accept his half-ghost status. He shouldn't _have_ to make backup plans. He shouldn't _have_ to worry about one day waking up and finding a pile of blood and ectoplasm where there once was a breathing boy.

But he did. Because he knew Danny was meant to be alive, in some sense.

As Tucker read over the plans, he looked back at Danny and Vlad. "The three of us made this plan last year. It was meant to be a joke, but when Danny's parents started getting really serious about hunting him down, we tweaked it a little to fit the needs. Then, Jazz and Sam added more to the plan. I don't know if they know how bad you are, Danny, but I'm sure we have enough to get you out of here, just in case."

Vlad shook his head, "You all are too young to be planning such things."

"I stopped being a kid when my best friend was half-killed because of me."

"Tuck, it wasn't your fault."

Tucker stared back at Danny, clenching his jaw then releasing it. "Sam and I egged you on, dude. We wanted to see more of the portal. We ignored you when you said it was dangerous. It's my fault."

Danny stared back. "Tucker. Shut up." He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "No one is blaming anyone. We can't do that right now. Fuck. We just gotta figure some things out. In case, we can't make it out of here before my parents figure out where I am."

"Will you two be reasonable?" Vlad said, nervousness building inside him. "These are your parents, Danny. They just need to settle down and realize they are hurting their son. That their son is hurting himself. They'll understand."

"If they don't?"

"That's a pessimistic thought-"

"Well, I gotta be pessimistic!" Danny yelled, waving his hands. "I gotta be! I want to die, but Goddamn, I don't wanna die in front of a barrel of a gun!"

Silence, at first. Then a whimper.

The three males turned to the door of Tucker's room, seeing Jazz and Sam. Sam's face was a mix of emotions, lips pursed and tears filling her eyes. Jazz looked devastated, already crying, face blotchy.

"Danny, I'm so sorry." The redhead rushed to her brother, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, baby brother. I should've been around when you told them. I should have helped you."

"Jazz, let me go." Danny pulled himself away from his sister's arms, trying to push away the sadness choking him. "Even if you were there, Mom and Dad would've still reacted. They are who they are, Jazz. Hell, even _if_ they had accepted me, they are still ghost hunters. You can't change everybody. Sometimes, you gotta realize people can't change anymore."

"But they can learn. They accept-"

"I have been with my parents for only a portion of their lives." Danny stated. "I have been half-dead for a mere hint of their lives. Before me, before you, before any of this, our parents had their beliefs. Dad had believed in the existence of ghosts long before he even _met_ Mom! And you _know_ Mom. You and her are alike! Always trying to appease the situation. Always trying to please everyone. I'm her kid, yes, but I'm sure it'll be hard to go against her husband."

Danny looked back to Vlad. "I'm thinking about twenty things at once. The main one? I wanna die. It's true, it's legit. I want to stop existing. But I know I can't. I know, _rationally_ , I shouldn't take my own life."

He got up from the bean bag chair, and stared at the duffel bags the girls brought. "So, I'm going to do the next best thing. I'm gonna run like Hell."

"And where will you run, Danny?" Vlad questioned. "Where? I can help you. I can give you and your friends sanctuary for the time being."

"No. Mom and Dad will know that's where we'll end up. If they finished questioning Jazz, and they are questioning Sam's parents next, then we don't have a lot of time."

Danny grabbed one of the duffel bags, ready to fly, when Tucker grabbed the strap and pulled him back.

"What the shit, Tuck?!"

Tucker clapped his hands on both of Danny's shoulders, and shook him. "You need to calm down, man. If you go out there before us, how can we make sure you're not just gonna take a left turn and tie a noose around your neck."

Danny sighed, and felt someone hold his hand. He looked over to Sam, and took note of the sadness in her face.

"I know you need more than just someone to talk to," she said, softly. "But if we run, or you run on your own, right now, it's not gonna be easy to stop and chat. You got your stubbornness from somewhere. Your parents won't stop until they find you. And…I don't think…I'm _hopeful_ …that they'll be looking for their child. Not a ghost."

Danny swallowed, trying to clear his throat. He can't cry right now. He can't. If he let even one more tear loose, he might just breakdown. And he can't breakdown. His last breakdown was just a year ago, after witnessing what his future-self, if he could consider Dan that, did to Amity Park. To the world. He can't breakdown now. He can't _die_ now.

He'll die later.

"All of us. Let's get out of here." Danny looked over to Vlad, "I don't know if you ever planned for something like this yourself, but I need to know. Do you have safe-houses that aren't in New York or Wisconsin? Washington state, maybe? Or Canada?"

Vlad sighed, knowing whatever he said will just go in one ear and right out the other. "I will arrange for the safe-house I have near the Canadian border. But, you must promise me you will accept the help I send your way."

Danny glared at the man, a part of him still distrustful, even after being thankful for what the older halfa has done for him. "Alright. I'll accept it." He turned to his friends and sister. "Let's get out of here. Your parents are bound to be wondering why everyone is in here."

The four of them walked out of the room, moving as quietly as possible down the hall and stairs, heading for the front door.

* * *

Jazz stopped, and the three people behind her knocked into one another. "Jazz, what?"

The four of them looked at the door, and saw Maurice and Angela standing right next to Jack and Maddie.

Maddie took a deep breath, hair a messy and eyes bloodshot. "They you are!"

Jazz, Tucker, and Sam moved in front of Danny, and the boy watched, feeling helpless, as his friends and sister stood in the line of fire for him. He knew his parents wouldn't try to shoot him if humans were in the way. But, he also had to try to think his parents wouldn't shoot him, period. And that thought was a little harder to hold onto.

Danny watched his parents from behind his human shields. His mother was a mess of flushed cheeks, tears, and clear of any weapons. His father was another story; armed with his newest ecto-gun, one Danny hadn't seen yet. Jack had it on his hip, but his hand was resting on the gun. He didn't know what that gun would do, whether it would destabilize his powers, or actually kill him. He felt trapped, scared, and helpless.

And he knew, maybe, if he had killed himself just moments before, he wouldn't feel like this.

"Just what do you kids think you're doing?" Maddie asked, more worried than accusatory.

"Getting out of here before you kill me," Danny answered. "Although, we might be a little behind."

"Jack," Maddie looked to her husband. "Please. Danny _is_ Phantom. He's our boy. Our baby. You know Danny would never hurt anyone."

"But Phantom would."

"Danny is Phantom!"

Maurice and Angela gasped quietly, watching, holding still as they looked at the older Fentons then the younger ones.

Danny's cheeks burned with shame and embarrassment. _Please, just let me end it._

It was only a moment after that he realized he said that out loud.

Tucker and Sam kept their heads down, but their shoulders were tense. Vlad's face remained impassive. But his family, his blood family, stopped to stare at Danny. _Why not come clean in front of everyone? Why not?_

* * *

"I'm going to tell you all a story," Danny said, trying to chase away his fear and sadness. "I'm going to tell you how this all started. And exactly what I feel." He stared at his parents, "And you two will listen. Very carefully."

"When I was fourteen, I got ghost powers. The portal my parents created was faulty, and when I accidentally pressed the on button, which was inside the portal, for some fucking reason, I was electrocuted and half killed, then half fused with ectoplasm. I became a half-ghost, half-human being.

"And you know what? I was scared. I was scared of suddenly having these powers because, well, my parents were freaking ghost hunters. I had never seen them hunt ghosts until the portal blasted on, but they were ghost hunters long before that. And even if they weren't, I was basically a freak. I don't belong in the human world, and I don't belong in the Ghost Zone. I'm some kind of anomaly. As if puberty wasn't enough.

"But, then, I started getting better. I didn't faze through chairs anymore, and I didn't accidentally become invisible during class. I learned to control my ecto-blasts and shields, and I used them. Not to terrorize the town, but to protect it. Well, maybe to terrorize Dash, but mostly to protect Amity Park.

"I was able to become a hero to at least some people, and I was so happy with that. I really was. Then…then you guys started ranting about my Phantom half, about how you'd rip me apart, "molecule by molecule." Do you know what that sounds like? Do you know what it's like to know your parents want to kill you? You guys had no idea I was half ghost, and I guess it's my fault for not telling you, but as time went on, I started feeling _afraid_ to tell you.

"But I was good at it. At being a hero. I was good at fighting ghosts. I loved it, actually. I loved doing what you guys wanted me to do, and that was hunting and fighting ghosts. So, I focused on it. Too much actually. My love for protecting the town and fighting ghosts became my obsession. I guess I do have an obsession, but I loved it, nonetheless.

"Then, _more_ things started changing. My powers were developing faster than I thought. I ended up fighting enemies I had no idea about. And high school, trivial, stupid, human high school, became something I couldn't focus on. So my grades slipped. And with my own obsession with ghosts, I didn't make time for studying. Which brought on more bad grades, a mistake on my part. A mistake I'm sorry for. Because I began feeling like shit over _grades_.

"Fighting ghosts wasn't good anymore. School wasn't good anymore. And coming home hearing my parents rant about killing me _in front_ of me, and having no one to truly be myself with, I just…got sad. I got sad. I got angry, and tired, and done. I was done. I was so beyond done that, eventually, I numbed myself to it all. But, what was a clutch became a curse. I ended up completely drowned in my numbness, like I was chained down underwater, and I couldn't come up for air."

Danny let out a shaky breath, tired and unable to cry, but wanting to.

"I thought it was my ice powers, at first. Do you guys know I have ice powers? I bet you don't. Never took the time to stop and take notes. But I do. And I thought the feeling I was getting in my hands was my ice powers acting up, freezing my skin and bones like it does when I can't control them. But it wasn't that. I would look at my hands and realize, _these cannot be my hands_. They didn't feel like they were mine. My body didn't feel like it belonged to me.

"The worst part is, well, I'm a half-ghost who hunts ghosts. And those ghosts don't care about bodily autonomy, or personal space. They just overshadow you. Or make you do things. And that happened to me so many times before, and I hated feeling like I didn't belong in my own body. So the numbness got _worse_. Eventually, I just ended up checking out. My body didn't feel like my body. I felt like I couldn't control my present or my future. I felt like no one could truly understand what I feel. I…I was lost, I guess.

"And…and that's when I started thinking I should just die. Why, _why_ suffer through feeling like I'm not even alive when I technically am? Why not the grab an ecto-gun that's not even a foot away from me, and shoot myself in the head? Why not just grab onto my ghost core and blast it away?"

"I guess it's cause a part of me still wanted to be alive. Just like I'm half ghost and half human, I was half desiring to live and half begging to die. And that's not pleasant feeling. In fact, it was so unpleasant, that eventually I tried replacing that feeling. I started free-falling. I would fly as high as I could over Amity Park, as high as I wanted, and then just…let go of my ghost form. It was amazing. It felt so amazing to fall, not as Phantom, but as Fenton.

"I felt more alive doing shit that could kill me, than I ever did going to school, being with my friends, being at home. So, I kept doing it. But, I couldn't. I just checked out again. And again. And again. And eventually, I started thinking that I should die. Just kill myself right now, and I won't have to deal with feelings. I wasn't…rational, I guess…when I got like that. Tucker tried to help. Vlad tried to help. Sam and Jazz definitely tried before.

"But…I just couldn't shake the feeling. And I couldn't take it. And I kept hoping, praying, that, if I told you guys, that you could help me. That…"

Danny sniffed, crying again even when he wanted nothing more than to rest.

"You guys are grown-ups. You guys are my parents. I know you guys don't have all the answers, but you should…you should be able to, at least, listen to me. Instead, instead, you threatened me! You never gave me a chance to explain myself! You never gave me a chance to tell you how I feel! And I feel like _shit_! I shouldn't want to die, for fuck's sake! But I do! I do! I just wanna die…"

Danny fell to his knees, tired and crying, and drained of everything he had left. "That's all I want. I just want to die."

Maddie and Jack stared at their son, dropping their weapons. Jack closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw, while Maddie wanted nothing more than to hug her son and protect him from any danger. But, how could she protect him when _she_ was the danger?

They didn't know. None of them really knew what to do.


	10. Exhaustion

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: Having a breakdown is bad enough, but the feeling after it definitely sucks.

Warnings: AU. Discussion of depression, self harm, and suicide.

Notes: I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their alert list, as well as those who have added me to their alert list. I wouldn't have made it this far without your encouragement and kind reviews. I figured this fic will finish in twelve chapters instead of ten, since I am finicky about chapter numbers. And, I have a recurring idea of writing up a sequel, currently titled _Stand Up_ , so we'll see how that goes. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Ten

Exhaustion

* * *

You know that feeling you get after having a breakdown, regardless of how big or small the breakdown was? The feeling of unadulterated exhaustion. The soreness of your eyes, the pain behind them. Your shoulders and arms feel as heavy as lead. You can't bear to lift yourself up, in fear of falling right back down to the floor.

Yeah. Having a breakdown is bad enough, but the feeling after it definitely sucks.

Danny rested between his two friends, his head on Sam's lap and his feet on Tucker's lap. Jazz helped him change from his rumpled clothes to a warm, plain shirt and gray sweatpants. His feet were still socked. All Danny did was rest against his closest friends, while his sister covered him in a soft blanket. He felt warm, and soft, and he sighed.

He wasn't entirely numb, and he wasn't sure if he'll feel that way anytime soon. But, for now, he was okay.

* * *

In the dining room of the Foley home, Angela sat next to Maddie while Vlad remained beside Maurice. Jack, however, stood against the kitchen counter, staring outside the small window overlooking the backyard.

"How could I not have seen anything?" Maddie murmured, cheeks streaked with tears. "I'm his mother. I'm _supposed_ to know if my child is suffering. I'm _supposed_ to help him. Instead, all I've been doing is hurting him."

"We both were," Jack said. "We both decided to hunt down Phan, uh…Danny…because of the beliefs we had and we both wanted to get rid of him because of those beliefs. We…we never did sit down to talk to him."

Jack shook his head, "Danny had a good point. We never did talk to ghosts, to him. We shot first."

Vlad sighed, staring between his old college friends. He felt a little guilty for insulting them before he ran off to find Danny but, at the same time, he knew they deserved it. "I…suggest you two approach Danny carefully. He won't budge easily, or he'll react differently than you expect. I believe that young man is very strong, but he's at his breaking point. And I don't want him to fall from that."

Maurice and Angela stared at one another. Parental sympathies filled them, as well as amazement of knowing their son's closest friend was the town's hero. But, worry came along, and they hoped the boy didn't fall from the edge.

* * *

In the living room, Jazz sat down in the armchair in front of the couch. Half of her wanted to get Danny to talk, to let her in, to tell her every last bit of how he was feeling. The other half of her wanted to just hold her baby brother and never let him go. She thought of their group's backup plan, of what would've happened if they were able to run off before their parents found them. How would she have helped her brother, then, when she couldn't help him now?

Danny, with everyone around him reeling, filling themselves with so many negative emotions, winced, and tried to keep himself warm. It was difficult to stay warm when he had an ice core, when his blood was filled with an even amount of ectoplasm that made his skin clammy. As if his body was against getting better when his mind wanted just that.

His mind wandered. Concocting images of himself falling from the sky. Of him crying. Of the time he had a shard of glass in his hand and was willing, ready, to slice open his skin just to feel something other than tired.

Maybe that was a good way to stop the war between his mind and his body.

"Let me go, guys," Danny said, removing the blanket. "I have to piss."

"Danny," Jazz called.

"Chill out. I just have to piss. Don't need a babysitter."

Danny got up, and shuffled away from his friends. If he looked calm on the outside, everyone would leave him alone. He considered his idea carefully. He couldn't break anything in this house; it would alert everyone else, then it would be near impossible for him to be on his own _without_ a babysitter. He couldn't go to the kitchen for a knife; it would definitely lead to more people looming over him and more people crying, and more shit he didn't want to deal with.

He walked upstairs quietly, and into the second floor bathroom, closing the door behind him with a _click_ from the lock. Danny looked around the Foley's bathroom. The porcelain tub was clean, as was the toilet. The bathroom sink was clean and carried the usual things found in home bathrooms: toothbrushes, a bar of soap, toothpaste.

Danny looked into the medicine cabinet, a fleeting thought of how rude it was to peek into someone else's medicine cabinet being ignored. There were plenty of lotions and other ointments in the medicine cabinet, but not anything sharp. Danny closed the cabinet and crouched to peek into the cabinet below the sink.

Toilet paper, extra shampoo and conditioner, and a black container. Danny grabbed it quickly. He had to hurry.

Inside the container was a razor. Not the one his Dad had, the blue disposable ones that looked gross after just one use. It was one of those razors that cost a fortune and had replaceable blades. And the container held those blades.

He thought back to his own little metaphor when he was falling. Kids would use blades just like these to cut up their arms, legs, and anywhere else they could reach. For what? For distraction from whatever they felt? For a reminder they were real? As a punishment for their failures? Danny had all those feelings in spades, and he wondered why he didn't think of this instead of just his free-falling habit. Was that really just a spur of a moment idea?

Danny grabbed a blade first, but hissed and dropped it. He watched as his skin split, and let out just a droplet out from the window. Incredible. That thin, tiny blade was already producing results he only imagined once before. But how would he carry that blade without cutting himself and looking suspicious in the process.

 _You've been feeling shitty because of your ghost powers. Maybe you should use them to your advantage now._

Danny lowered his hand to place it above the blade, and used only a hint of his powers to lift it from the ground before turning both his hand and the blade intangible. Where could he even hide it? His own core was the best place he could think of.

Although a ghost's core was pure power, it was adaptable. His core was an ice core, and it would easily freeze the blade once it was inside it. And there wasn't even an issue with finding the core itself. Danny merely inserted his intangible hand into the center of his ribcage, easily bringing up his core.

He was half-tempted to say, _fuck this_ , and just blast off his core right then and there. But, then, his friends were probably waiting for him. If he stayed too long, they might come running. He might not even have enough time to blast off his core. He wasn't even sure if his own body or, rather, the ghost side of his body, wouldn't fight back death.

Instead, he just hid the blade inside that frozen block of power, and removed his hand. It was almost funny; he stood up and didn't even feel the piece of metal inside him. Danny closed the razor case and returned it to its rightful place. He flushed the toilet for good measure, and opened the door. Just as he expected, Jazz was waiting for him.

"You okay?"

"I told you," Danny said, frowning, "I had to pee."

"I just want to make sure you're okay, Danny."

Danny sighed and walked to his sister. He felt…guilty…for hiding the blade, for hiding his feelings, from her and everyone around him. But, if he had told everyone this earlier, all this would have just happened _earlier_.

No, thanks. He couldn't even deal with it now.

Danny stopped in front of his sister, and looked over her face. He was almost as tall as her now, and maybe would end up taller, since he inherited a lot more from his father's side than his mother's. The desire to die only conjured up an image of who he was now. The future that could've been showed only a combination of his ghost half with Vlad's ghost half, no human genes to manipulate growth. He wondered if he would grow as broad as his father, or as slim as his mother. Or would he be a hybrid of the two, just like he was a hybrid between a ghost and a human.

Danny sighed and walked down the stairs.

* * *

Jack Fenton knew what other people thought of him. Many considered him a bumbling fool for blabbering about ghosts and the paranormal. Others thought of him as an idiot with poor aim, because his wife could land a blast on any ghost, regardless of how far, when he couldn't go on a hunt without causing property damage.

He actually knew Vlad had a poor opinion of him. He's definitely overheard the white-haired man calling him an oaf and a fool, several times. He's even heard a few remarks of "taking" Maddie away from him, which Jack just shrugged off because Maddie wasn't a prize to be won. If anything, Maddie chose Jack, rather than him winning her.

He also noticed, very quickly, how Danny was feeling. He knew the boy wasn't adapting as well as he should have. In fact, he had been a shaky, nervous person before the accident. If anything, the portal accident had just multiplied the anxiety Danny had. But, Jack…Jack just elected to ignore it, focused on his weaponry and hunting.

What a terrible father he was.

The Fentons returned home after being with the Foleys for too long, and Jack could still envision his son being hugged by both of his friends. He truly noticed his son then. The unhealthy pallor of his skin. His limbs skinnier than they were before the accident. His son was drained of color, of life, and maybe it was because he was literally half-dead.

His son was half-dead, and Jack had called him a pile of ectoplasmic scum. He insulted his own son, to his face, in front of his wife and old friend. And it wasn't until Vlad called him out on it did he realize how stupid he was.

" _You are not my son_."

" _I will tear you apart with my bare hands._ "

Oh God. He threatened his own son. He threatened to _kill_ his son.

Jack placed a shaky hand on the table in his kitchen. He threatened to kill his son. He threatened him because of prejudice that's been with him for far too long. He's threatened him before he even knew who Phantom really was.

 _I am so sorry, Danny…_

"Jack?"

Jack felt warm, soft hands hold his face, and he looked up to his wife. He realized his vision was foggy and blinked away tears. He had no right to cry. He threatened his son. He wasn't the one who was hurt in this situation.

"I said…so many bad things to him." Jack closed his eyes, even though more tears kept falling. "I threatened my own son. I threatened to kill my own son. Oh, God. Maddie, Danny…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't."

"Jack, shh…" Maddie brought her husband close to her, wrapping her arms around him as much as she possibly could. "You didn't know. None of us did. Our baby hid this secret and the feelings that went with it from us, and now, it's our job to help him. I…We don't want to lose our son. We have to help him."

"A parent shouldn't bury their own child," Jack murmured, wiping his face. He had to be strong, for his son, his family.

"I should apologize to Danny. I…I hurt him."

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Jack."

Maddie and Jack turned their heads to look at Vlad. Jack could remember a time Vlad had the same face he wore currently. The cloudy gaze, the clenched jaw. He remembered a cigarette in his hand where there was now nothing. Jack remembered all of their vices. Vlad's was smoking. His own was drinking. Maddie punched things.

He was…very afraid to know if Danny had any vices. He was afraid to know if Danny was like those kids who would hurt themselves because they felt just as terrible as he did.

"I need to check on my son," Jack said, removing Maddie from him. "I need to. I need to see if-"

"Jack," Vlad said, sharply. "If I were in Danny's shoes, I wouldn't want you near me. He doesn't want to even be around his own sister. Surely, he wouldn't want to be around the two of you. He…He needs his space."

"We left him alone this whole time," Maddie shouted. "We need to be with him."

"What Danny needs is sleep," Vlad said. "Jasmine was tucking him into bed when I checked on them. The boy looked like he was about to fall asleep standing and, trust me, he's already done that before."

Vlad approached the couple and looked to Jack. "Jack, right now, you feel terrible. You feel terrible, and worried, and guilty. But, you cannot let your own emotions come before the emotions of your son."

" _That's all I want. I want to die._ " Danny's words repeated in Jack's head over and over like a scratched up record.

"My son wants to _kill himself_ ," Jack said, angry and worried all at once. "I should be looking after him. I should be there for him. I should make up for all the time I spent chasing ghosts. Literally. I need to see Danny."

" _How do you know you can't hurt a ghost?_ "

Maybe he was hurting ghosts. He was definitely hurting his son, who was only half ghost. But, he could make amends with his son. He would beg forgiveness from the boy if it means his son won't kill himself.

"Mom? Dad?"

Jazz stood at the kitchen doorway, looking sadder and more tired than she ever did. "Danny's asleep. I'm sure he's tired from everything that's happened. Maybe you guys can keep it down?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Maddie nodded.

"Jazz," Jack called. "You knew this whole time Danny was a ghost. That's why you yelled at us before you left the house to go look for him."

Jazz sighed, shoulders slumping. She nodded.

"And Vlad. You knew, too."

"Correct, Jack."

"Did Danny tell you?"

Vlad looked at Jack. How could he say how he knew? Vlad was at risk, at this point. He couldn't just expose his own ghost half, but he knew it wouldn't make any sense to know Danny was half ghost unless he changed the entire story.

"I…watched him transform into his Phantom half…when you all were visiting my manor for the reunion. My mansion is large, and very old. Surely, there were plenty of ghosts in those old halls. Danny must have hunted them down."

He could explain his own ghost half later.

"And you, Jazz?"

"I, um…I also saw him transform. It was when that psychologist, Spectra, was visiting Casper High. A lot of ghosts were feeding on the crappy feelings everyone was having. Danny had to fight them off, and I caught him transforming into Phantom. Um…Sam and Tucker were probably told from the beginning. Danny didn't want to tell you."

Jack sighed, his chest hurting. "Everyone knew but us. Was he honestly so afraid of us? We shouldn't have scared him so much. We should have known. But I…I didn't even see any of it. Now, I'm going to lose my son."

"But, we can help him!" Jazz said. "We can help him. We can be there to support him. We can. I'm sure."

Jack looked at his daughter, his wife, and his friend. "I hope you're right."

The dread in his chest wasn't going away any time soon.


	11. Okay

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: "Admittedly, I don't have any excuses for treating you the way I did, son."

Warnings: AU. Mental illness and discussion of self-injury.

Notes: I became really discouraged from writing this fanfiction not only because of technical issues but because of the weirdest review I've ever received in my time on this website. But, I've elected to ignore that "review" and use my reaction as a means of inspiration. This fic is coming to a close soon, and I'm very happy with my own work and the positive reaction coming from it. Thank you, readers, for your support and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter.

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Okay

* * *

Humans are strange creatures. Ghosts were strange creatures. Halfas were, obviously, strange creatures. Halfas embodied both everything and nothing of the two previous species, such as a human's emotions and a ghost's temperament. Humans were just as likely to cause major damage as ghosts did. It's amazing Danny didn't cause any damage either to himself or others earlier. That it took almost a year and a half for everything to come to this.

The blade was cold to the touch in his hand, after being in his core for hours now. At three in the morning, in the darkness of his bedroom, Danny stared at the thin piece of silver on the palm of his hand.

In middle school, there were plenty of rumors of kids hurting themselves with blades like these. Danny could even remember a few girls walking down the halls with long, dark sleeves, with hints of those scars coming from under them. He remembers being twelve, and wondering how much pain would someone be in to hurt themselves like that.

Danny picked up the thin blade and held it between his fingers. He looked down at his right arm, bare of any scars and bruises. Would he hurt himself now? How far could he cut? How deep? Would it leave a scar?

 _Knock, knock._

Danny gasped and threw the blade to his waste basket, his fists clenching as another knock came to the door.

"Danny?" His dad.

"Uh. Come in."

His dad opened the door, dressed in pajamas and holding two steaming mugs. "I made hot chocolate."

Danny cracked a smile, and watched his dad sit down on the foot of his bed. He accepted one of the mugs, holding onto the cup and letting it warm his perpetually cold hands.

Jack stared at his drink, then spoke. "Admittedly, I don't have any excuses for treating you the way I did, son."

"It's fine, Dad-"

"No, Danny, it's not." Jack sighed. "I don't have any excuses for ignoring you and your sister. I don't have any excuses for hunting you down. Even if I didn't know you were Phantom, you were considered a hero by a lot of people, and the people shouldn't hunt down their heroes. I am your father. I should've supported you."

Jack shook his head, his hair a mess. "Instead, all I've done is made you afraid of me. And I am sorry."

Danny stared at his father, taking note of the man's slumped shoulders and lowered chin. He can remember his sister's ramblings of child psychology and forgiveness. Of wariness and clearing your mind.

"I accept your apology." Danny murmured, watching his father stare up at him in surprise. "But, that doesn't mean I'll forgive you so quickly. Dad, you scared me. You scared me so much, because I've been hearing about you dissecting and destroying ghosts since I knew what that meant, and I was suddenly a ghost. I got so scared."

"I would never hurt my son."

"You threatened me."

"I-"

"You've been threatening me before you knew I was Phantom. And I was scared to ever tell you I was the town's new ghost hero because of those threats. And when you grabbed me after I told Mom and you I was a ghost, I knew I couldn't trust you. Dad. I am scared. I am scared of _you and Mom_. A sorry isn't going to get rid of that."

Danny placed his mug on the bedside table, and leaned down to grab the blade from the waste basket.

He showed it to his father, watching the man's face go from weary to horrified. "I found this blade, and I am so willing use it on myself because I feel terrible. I've been feeling terrible for months. I've been feeling terrible because of the things I've seen and felt. And I am trying not to hurt myself."

Danny turned and actively threw the blade into the trash can. He took in a shaky breath. "Things need to change, Dad. I want to tell you everything of what I'm feeling, but you have to be willing to listen to me. Can you be?"

"Yes, Danny."

"I'm not asking you to stop hunting ghosts indefinitely. I wouldn't ask you to do that, because you've been hunting ghosts longer than I've been alive. What I'm asking you to do is to make time to listen to me. I'm asking you to try to understand me. Because, maybe, you can understand what I'm going through better than I can."

"…I'm starting to feel bad again. My brain feels like it's slipping out of my head, and floating away. After crying yesterday, I felt better. But now, I feel tired and numb. I feel like I'm just sitting here with no purpose and no point, and I am scared. I am scared because I can't seem to get a hold of myself anymore. And all the other fears and worries are just making it harder to get a hold of myself. I don't know what to do anymore, Dad. What else to feel. I'm just scared."

Jack sighed and turned to face his son. He opened his arms a little, and watched as his son scuffled over to him. The man wrapped his arms around his son tightly. His son was willing to be hugged by him, which was a small victory.

"I'm here, Danny. I won't ever hurt you again. I'll be here for you. I promise, son."

They're okay. They will be okay. They will.


	12. Grounding

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: "You've got good parents, Phantom. I mean, yeah, they'll make some mistakes. We've all made mistakes. But, I'm sure they'll always love you, and will be there for you. So, you gotta be there for them."

Warnings: AU. Mention of depression, dissociation, passive suicidal idealization, and suicide.

Notes: With school and college classes coming up, I've be busy. But, I could finally write this chapter. Just one more chapter after this one, then I'll be pleasantly done with Freefall. Just remember, for those of you in school, to take it one day at a time, and not to worry too much. You'll be fine. And if you feel bad, there is always someone there to help. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Grounding

* * *

For almost six months now, Danny hesitantly fought ghosts in his ghost-half. He did not like how separated he felt from his own body. He did not like fighting ghosts like Skulker or Spectra, and not feeling the normal adrenaline rush he used to feel.

Its almost funny now to have a little bit of a hard time going back to feeling normal.

"Hey, Danny."

Danny looked up from the carpet of his living room and watched his mother extend a hand towards him.

"Come with me, sweetie. I'd like to show you something."

Danny accepted his mother's hand, and used her help to lift himself off the floor. He kept his hold on her hand as she led him from the living room to the basement door. "Your father and I are working on something. And we'd like your opinion."

His parents never asked of his opinion, and Danny's heart began to beat quickly. Were all their tears just an act? Did they honestly want to hurt them, like his father threatened to do? Rip him apart, "molecule by molecule?"

"-anny. Danny!"

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe. They were going to hurt him, and he couldn't breathe.

Someone placed a hand on the back of his neck, and Danny reached out, hand glowing icy-blue with his powers. He looked towards the person holding him – his father. Jack wasn't wearing his usual orange jumpsuit, just soft clothes. That meant...

"Shit."

Danny snapped his hand away from his father's, and watched as Jack hissed, his hand covered in a thin sheet of frost.

"D-Dad. I'm sorry! I didn't-"

"It's alright, son," Jack said. Maddie rushed to his aid, a warm towel in her hand. "I guess we should have told you exactly why we're bringing you to the lab – I'm fine, Mads. Don't worry."

Danny followed his parents down the lab, guilt filling him. "I didn't-"

"Don't worry, Danny boy," Jack grinned. "Look here."

The basement lab was clean. The lab tables, normally full of beakers and ectoplasm, were sparkling clean. The tools were all put away, and everything was neatly organized. The entire _opposite_ of what he was used to when it came to his parents. The only thing that hasn't changed was the active portal, and new computers were added on each side of the portal.

"What's all this?" Danny asked.

"You mentioned how your mother and I never took a chance to talk to ghosts we encountered. And we've blindly shot at them without truly thinking whether they were friend or foe. We...would like to try that. And, given how you've been fighting ghosts for almost two years now, perhaps you can help us out and, maybe, introduce us to a few of your ghost friends..."

Danny looked between his mother and father, and took note of their hopeful faces. The dread that once filled him was replaced with happiness. His parents wanted to know of the good he did as Phantom. But, who could he introduce them to?

"I...think I know someone friendly."

* * *

"Gee golly!" Poindexter exclaimed. "Phantom! Good to see you, my man!"

"Hi, Sidney," Danny laughed, floating carefully in front of his stunned parents. Poindexter's domain was a replica of Casper High, except for being black and white. "I want to introduce you to my parents, Jack and Maddie."

"Pleasure to meet you!" Sidney floated over to Jack and excited shook his hand, "Mr. Jack." Then floated over to Maddie, "Ms. Maddie. Gosh, it sure is nice to meet you guys. Your son sure is a swell kid."

"Oh," Maddie exclaimed. "That's so...nice to hear. Danny, why did you bring us to, um...here?"

Danny bumped lightly against Poindexter, who excitedly put an arm over his shoulders. "Sidney was about my age when he died, so he's the closest ghost to understanding how I work, even though it's like talking to a younger version of Grandpa."

"I must be _real_ swell then, if I remind you of your Gramps, Phantom," Sidney remarked, sarcastically. But that just led to laughter between the two teens.

Maddie looked at the two boys, and her maternal heart ached to know how the boy died so young.

"Oh, boy," Sidney chirped. "I know that face. That's the face lots of ghosts here made when I first materialized here."

"I...don't want to be a nuisance to you," Maddie said, softly. "But,...I just can't help but be curious."

"Ah, it's okay," Sidney smiled. "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. I'll tell you cats how I died."

"That's a phrase I never thought I'd hear in my half-lifetime," Danny scoffed.

Sidney laughed softly, floating and folding his legs in Indian style. He stared back at his domain, the black and white color scheme unchanging. "I went to Casper High, from 1954 to 1958, coming in at the middle of my freshman year. I tried being real nice and friendly, 'cause my mom always said being nice can help with making friends, and I believed her...

"But, that's not what happened. You guys know high school hierarchy. If you're on the football team, you're automatically the coolest kid at school. Then you had the bad boys and girls, who were cool because they didn't like the social hierarchy, even though they were just as much a part of it as the cool kids. You had the normal kids, then the weird kids. Then, lastly, you had the nerds. Now, I'm talking AV club, chess club, astronomy club. The works. I was part of all those clubs...

"I worked hard, Mr. Jack, Ms. Maddie. I worked real hard, cause my parents were working hard to make money to give me so I could go to college. But, hard work doesn't matter much to kids, ya know. They only see a nerd with goofy clothes trying too hard to make friends. And, let me tell you, having a swirlie for breakfast and a wedgie for lunch can sure hurt...

Sidney looked down at his hands. "During my sophomore year, I got bullied real bad by this kid. Now, I'm talking real bad, the works – swirlies, wedgies, being tossed in lockers, name-called. And, ya know, Casper High doesn't have a very good track record with making sure bullying stop. Cause most of the bullies were their star athletes, and that's all Casper's ever had to make them a decent school. So, while I got a busted lip and bruised head, my bullies were praised for a touchdown...

"When no one listens to you, regardless of how much good you do, it...really hurts. Really does, sir, ma'am."

Maddie felt her heart ache for the ghost boy, who couldn't have been any older than seventeen when he died. She looked over to her son, and wondered if, aside from the ghosts, Danny had to fight his own human bullies.

"I thought I could brush it off, you know. I'd work hard and be a chemist. I wanted very much to be a chemist that discovered a safe chemical formula, or maybe just make some new medicine for sick kids. But, saying that just made the bullying worse.

"One day, I think after I turned seventeen, one of the major bullies I had grabbed me and slammed me into my locker. The usual stuff, get me? But, I'd been dealing with this kind of garbage for four years, from the time I got into high school early at thirteen, to then. And, what do you know, I got tired of it. I got real tired of it. So, when the janitor who pitied me got me out of my locker, I went home real quick.

"Mom and Dad worked all day, wanting to save money for my education. They were good parents, kind and caring, especially since I was their only kid. But, I wasn't thinking about them. I was thinking about how...bad...I felt. Feeling that bad is very scary. I went home, just feeling bad, bad, bad. I didn't have friends. I didn't have family, to be honest, because my parents focused so much on my future, that they didn't think of my present. I was all alone, so I decided not to feel that way anymore.

"So I went to school that Monday, wrote my parents a note, then climbed up the roof of the school and tossed myself off of it"

Jack and Maddie stared, wide-eyed, at Poindexter, then at Danny, who reached out to place a hand on Sidney's shoulder.

"I didn't die immediately, though. Well, my body did, but _I_ didn't. I became a ghost, and I've been told my "obsession" was to help the geeks and nerds like me. You know, giving them some ideas, inspiring them, and helping them out whenever a bully would hurt them. When I saw Phantom here, I thought _he_ was a bully."

"Wrecked my day, that's what you did," Danny said, chuckling.

"And I'm _sorry_ ," Poindexter joked back.

The boys looked back at the adults, their faces falling when they noticed Maddie tearing up. "Uh, uh," Danny stammered. "Mom, I didn't...I didn't want to hurt you."

"No, no," Maddie sniffed. "I know. You wanted to show us not all ghosts are bad. And I understand that. But, Danny, Sidney is so much like you, I just...we almost lost you because of our prejudice. I don't ever want you to feel that pain again."

Danny smiled, sadly, and felt Sidney push him forward. He looked back at the ghost boy.

"You've got good parents, Phantom." Sidney said, then shrugged. " I mean, yeah, they'll make some mistakes. We've all made mistakes. But, I'm sure they'll always love you, and will be there for you. So, you gotta be there for them."

Danny nodded and looked at his parents, "I will."

* * *

Admittedly, he still felt bad. He still felt really hurt and not completely there in his head. But, he was better. He was better than he was months ago.

"Hey, Danny, you want some pizza?"

Danny looked at Sam, who held a slice of spinach pizza in her hand. "Or would you rather have that...excessive amount of meat that Tucker calls a pizza."

"Hey! I'll have you know, it's very delicious."

"That's fucking heart disease on flat bread, Tuck!"

"But, at least it taste good!"

"When was the last time you ate a vegetable?!"

"Last night, thank you very much."

"Colesaw doesn't count as vegetables, Tuck!"

"Does to!"

Danny laughed, feeling happiness spread throughout his body. His friends and him huddled in his living room, surrounded by boxes of pizza and covered in crumbs. They were a bunch of greasy teenagers, and Danny wouldn't have it any other way.

"Do you kids need anything else?" Jack bellowed from the kitchen. "Any more soda or pizza?"

"Actually-"

"No, dad!" Danny interrupted Tucker, who looked affronted. "We're good for now!"

"Dude."

"Tucker, you've eaten your weight in hamburger stuffed pizza," Danny noted. "You're gonna get sick, then you're gonna complain about being sick. If you complain, I'll fly your overstuffed body back to your house."

Tucker gasped dramatically. "I thought we were friends, Danny."

"We are, and always will be, but if I hear about you getting food poisoning because of bad meat one more time, I'll stuff you full of spinach and artichoke."

"Yuck!"

"Hey, I'm game," Sam said with a wicked grin. "I'll buy the spinach, you get the artichoke,"

"Deal."

"Don't I get a say in this?!" Tucker shouted.

"No," Danny and Sam said.

The duo laughed while Tucker pouted, and Danny felt better, lighter, in a way his free-falling couldn't help him with. He felt like he could feel his hands and feet, and know he had more control of his body, his mind, himself.

He felt grounded.


	13. Here

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etcetera, are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Title: Freefall.

Rating: Mature.

Fandom: Danny Phantom.

Summary: One, Danny didn't particularly like being in his Phantom half for longer than necessary. Two, Mr. Lancer had been staring at him like a fish catching flies for the past six minutes.

Warnings: AU. Discussion of depression, dissociation, and bullying. Slight OOC.

Notes: **This is officially the last chapter for** **Freefall**. I am so grateful for the attention this story has gotten, and so thankful for all the kindness people have given me. I have an idea for a sequel, but that won't come up for a long while due to school being in full swing for me. Thank you so much once again. And I truly hope you enjoy the last chapter. Goodbye, for now.

* * *

Chapter 13

Here

* * *

School was a fickle thing. As a student at the end of sophomore year, Danny needed to begin to consider his options for the future. The problem with his options were they weren't very good ones. There was the future he was born into; his "legacy" as a Fenton, and the inheritor of FentonWorks, due to his sister's refusal of the business. There was the future he once dreamed of; working hard in high school and college, getting into NASA, making his family, his friends, his home, and himself proud.

Those weren't bad futures. Only now, they weren't exactly good futures, either.

Then there was the probable future. Whether how his family would die, if they would, and how it would lead to him splitting his ghost and human halves. But, what would happen to him after all of this? If, after almost one year of feeling positively wretched, his ghost and human halves did split? Would he feel better, emotionally and physically, if he were to rip out his ghost half? Would his ghost half duel with Plasmius's ghost half?

All of these possibilities were making him feel itchy. And, it's much better to focus on the present.

"Alright, students," Mr. Lancer said, calling to attention. "Now, remember, just because the summer is approaching does it mean you all can slack off your work. I'll be passing out the packets needed for your summer reading projects."

 _Are you fucking kidding me?_

Danny let out a low sigh, leaning back in his seat. He supposed a summer project could keep his mind going, and with school being dismissed for vacation, it meant there was more time for actual rest. As soon as Lancer approached his desk, Danny accepted the project packet. However, he also saw a blue sticky note on the front page: _See me after class._

 _Are you_ fucking _kidding me?_

Dash Baxter leaned over his seat with a wicked grin. "Hah. Fenton, you're fucked."

Danny glared at him, trying to push back his anger from actually manifesting. On one hand, it would horrify anyone to be glared at with sharp eyes framed with glowing veins. On the other hand, he didn't want to get into even more shit.

When class was dismissed, Sam and Tucker passed his desk. They both gave him a thumbs-up, but their smiles were tight on their faces. Danny approached Lancer's desk, feeling his chest tighten with trepidation. Mr. Lancer looked the picture of an organized teacher: desk neat, work graded, with a shiny red apple next to a photo of his "sister."

"Mr. Fenton," Lancer said, "take a seat."

There was a writing desk next to Lancer's desk with a wooden chair. At the beginning of the year, Lancer said any student that needed help with English assignments or essays for other classes could be helped by Lancer at that desk. However, that desk had been solely used to separate chatty students from one another, or to quietly punish students that consistently forgot their homework or just flat-out never did it. In Danny's head, that desk was basically a sentence.

Danny plopped down on the chair, and thumbed at the sticky note on his assignment.

"Mr. Fenton. I've noted a great decrease in the quality, and then the quantity, of assignments you've turned in. Not only in my class, either. Ms. Johnson and Mr. McCullough have both noted the same issue. Even Ms. Tetslaff is noticing a great decrease in the written work and the amount of effort put in the physical work in her class."

Danny flattened his hand over the note.

"I'm going to be honest, due to your grade history being average to below average in every class except the math and science classes, the administration had assumed you were merely slacking off. But, when even _those_ grades were beginning to slip, it became worrying. Since I am also one of the advisers for the eleventh and twelfth grades, I am going to be the one in charge of what you need to graduate on time."

Danny's hand slowly began to crush the note in his hand.

"But, I need to know now is...how are you feeling?"

He wondered if all teachers either were plain stupid, or they pretended to be smart in order to hide the fact they were stupid.

"Mr. Fenton?"

"...Do you want an honest answer, Mr. Lancer?" Danny said, his voice rough from lack of use.

"Yes. Of course."

"...I feel like _shit._ "

Danny quickly crumbled the note in his hand, tightening his fist around it as much as he could. "I have been feeling terrible for so long, it has become a habit. Yes, I do have good days. Hell, last week, I had one of the best days I've had in a very long time. But,...but in the back of my mind, there's this horrible feeling of just plain shit. And I, and I can't get rid of it.

"I can't get rid of feeling so detached to my own body, and I can't tell _you_. I can tell my parents. I have told my parents, my family, and they were willing to still help me. But, I don't know how other people are going to react. I'm...scared to know.

"I really am scared to admit this to anyone. Because, even though my family has accepted me, I don't know how people will react to how I think, and what I am. And it scares me more than anything."

Truthfully, he feels better by admitting these things.

"What is it that you're scared to admit, Mr. Fenton?"

Lancer does not look threatening. He does not look pitying, either, which is okay. And it should be okay to admit this to his teacher. Although Lancer was tough on work and even tougher on grading, and the part of his human half that was still immature and rebelled wanted nothing to do with Lancer, Danny knew it'd be a good way to get some help academically.

And he sure as hell needed help academically.

"I can't tell you here at school," Danny said. "But, if you can come to my house, I can explain it."

* * *

There were two issues, currently.

One, Danny didn't particularly like being in his Phantom half for longer than necessary. Although he was trying very hard to feel better, (and, damn, was he trying,) he still felt very iffy about his feelings. And was worried about how he'd react to his own emotions. His Phantom half was cold naturally, (supernaturally?) and he didn't like feeling like it anymore.

Two, Mr. Lancer had been staring at him like a fish catching flies for the past six minutes.

"You're...I...Dickens, Mr. Fenton. I can't believe this."

"Well, uh, you know the phrase. Believe it. Heh."

Danny folded his legs Indian-style, floating a good four feet in the air. He took notice of how his own hair and his clothes were floating as well, but focused on his teacher, who still hadn't picked his jaw up from the floor.

"You...You're the town's hero. You're Phantom."

Jazz sighed, arms folded. "Honestly, I should've seen it earlier. Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom sound so similar, it's insulting. Not to mention Danny having inverted coloring."

Danny smiled a little, "Sometimes, regular humans don't catch the same things halfas and ghosts can catch."

"You're Phantom."

"I think we've established that, Mr. Lancer," Maddie said with a chuckle. "You can benefit from some tea. Would you like chamomile or earl gray?"

"...Chamomile, please."

* * *

Danny, in his home, was even more messy-haired and picked at his pajamas. His skin wasn't the vibrant tan it was in his ghost form. Rather, it was sickly pale, with heavy shadows under his eyes. The boy looked basically unhealthy.

Lancer wanted to ask why his parents had been so blind. But, he had been blind as well.

"I'm...not quite sure how we can give a good excuse for accommodation, Mr. Fenton," Lancer mentioned. "But, I will make sure I do my best. I know for a fact you deserve help. Danny," Lancer sighed. "Why didn't you say anything sooner? We all could have helped you out so much sooner. Was it all truly just fear?"

Danny stared at Lancer, eyes looking through the man, not at him.

"...You know what they do to animals in bad farms, right? The ones with the shitty owners? You know they kill animals if they're not perfect, right?"

"Yes, of course, but what-"

"If anyone figures out I'm half-ghost, half-human, they will want to experiment and study me. And when they're done with me, they're going to kill me. Do you honestly believe the Guys In White, or any other government funded business involving ghosts are just going to study me and let me go?"

Danny shook his head. "They're going to study me, of course. Then experiment on me. Then, most likely, try to use me as either a weapon or the base for human experimentation. Then, lastly, they'll kill me. And I'm not going to die by any other terms, except my own."

If it weren't for the fact Lancer knew how bad Danny had gotten _because_ of his ghost half, the teacher would assume the boy was just being a heroic martyr.

To know one of his students had injured themselves, and had wanted to die, and for all he knows, still wants to die,...it's more than just scary, but Lancer, as an English teacher, as an English student himself, had no words to describe this.

And Danny was only sixteen. He turned seventeen in only two weeks.

"Mr. Fenton," Lancer began. "You still have to do the summer reading project. However, I can give you resources for any help you'll need either in English, or any other classes. I want to see you succeed in school, and in the future."

 _I want see you succeed._

Holy shit, someone actually said that.

Danny smiled, life returning to his face. "I'd greatly appreciate that, Mr. Lancer."

* * *

If you had told Danny when he first received his powers that he would go through Hell with them, Danny would assume you're right, but he would never expect just how much Hell he would go through.

He appreciated the idea. Because with his powers, he'd been able to help others. But, because of his family, he'd been able to help himself. And he sure needed that help. And he wasn't sure just how to show how much he appreciates the help.

Danny curled against his mother's side, his father's big hand resting on the crown of his head.

He smiled. Though he still felt bad, he was better. And he knew, rationally, what he feels and how badly it feels won't go away over night, regardless of how much love and support is stuffed into him. But, he was beginning to be okay with that.

Danny looked down to his arm, his wrist encircled with a thin, shiny band of silver. The bracelet was made of pure, unfiltered ectoplasm harvested from the oldest, deepest parts of the Ghost Zone. The parts that only ancient ghosts had entered and exited willingly. Pure, unfiltered ectoplasm shined like silver, was strong like diamonds, and didn't hurt him in any way.

 _Be safe._ Vlad wrote on the note attached to the bracelet. A quiet sign Vlad cared, an extra bit of proof that Vlad did want to help as much as he said he did.

Danny sighed. His sadness, his weariness, was lessened a little. The shock of seeing how much love surrounded him definitely shook him out of his disconnected state. And for now, everything is okay, maybe not completely gone, but okay, and he was alive, here at home.

He was here.


End file.
